14 September 2012
Endoscopy of Health Ministry
My brother had a painlessly bad stomach for years, which won't keep anything beyond an hour. He was gradually losing weight and getting tired of running to toilet after every meal, and we were deprived of our regular toilet visits, since we only have one toilet. His so many hospital visits neither satisfied his disease nor him, not even me. I knew something was seriously wrong.
During his long toilet occupation he would finish a whole newspaper, and by the beginning of 2011 he was reading Business Bhutan passionately because it had 24 pages to last longer than his toilet ordeal. Those days Health Ministry Corruption was just a news for him in the toilet. The following series of stories on the ill health of health ministry by Tenzing Lamzang went on shocking us. But at the end of the day it was just a news and often I saw the newspaper lying wet on the toilet window.
Last month I took my brother to Thimphu with a referral from Wangdue hospital for endoscopy, to have a photographic view of his funny stomach and to clear all our doubts. It was a smooth sail until he was sent for endoscopy appointment, though we waited for hours, But he was given his appointment two months later. I didn't believe, I triple-checked the date. Later I learnt that this has been the process for quite sometime, and everybody has learned to follow it.
My brother wanted to return home right away but I didn't want him to live any longer with the disease we didn't understand yet, and land up hearing 'it's too late now' later. Then a friend on Twitter rescued us by mentioning about the private clinic that has the endoscopy machine, she also share about the price of the service. It was expensive but life is priceless. He went there the next day and got it done. It was discovered that his stomach was invaded by bacterial colonies, which has matured enough and if it was left untreated for some time more it could have caused Cancer! Damn I knew that. I always feared that but didn't want him to worry. However we made it there on time and he has stared his new course of medication, which is showing good results now.
After all this was over I was there at the hospital attending to my mother in-law and I chanced to know why endoscopy service is taking so long. There used to be three machines and two broke down, which is obvious after having read the procurement scams. And when job of three machines are left for a single machine we can't expect things to happen as quickly.
So the whole news on health ministry corruption my brother read on his toilet pot finally boiled down on a common man like him. But we were smart and we made it through on time. He paid the price, in cash and not with his life. What about the so many people who are lined up for as long as three month to have endoscopy done? What about so many who waited and found that they were a little late? Were they late? How many may pay with their lives for the greed of some highly educated frauds? When will the two other machine be fixed? Common men are paying price every day.
Thanks to Tenzing Lamzang and ACC for doing the endoscopy of the Health Ministry and removing the cancerous cells dancing on money its stomach. Hope things will be better with time.
12 September 2012
Simple Rules Bhutanese Break Every Day
More than often we see people smoking in a room where there is 'No Smoking' written in bold, a car parked right on the 'No Parking' space, people talking aloud in the area where it's clearly written 'Silence Please', pile of rubbish around the sign that reads 'Do Not Litter' and worst of all there is no 'Do Not Spit' place without thick bloody read doma spit. Can't we read these simple words? Forgive the people who can can't read, but what about the literate folks who are often the ones breaking these simple rules.
During my week long stay in JDWNRH I have been an observer to many conflict between sick attendants and G4S guards, sick attendants and nurses, and visitors and G4S. In all these fights I saw how our people find themselves at right after breaking numerous hospital norms. First they come when it's not visiting hour, and when G4S guards stop them they pick up fights. Inside 'one patient one attendant' rule is broken, and when nurses remind them they find the nurse bitchy. When the patient is in agony people crowd over it and won't let nurses do their job, nurse grow furious and shout at them to leave some space for air, and then these people counter. After visiting hour is over, no visitor leaves, not until the G4S boys come around thrice to chase them off. It's not a happy ending either. There is a big dinning room in the hospital and people eat and throw their waste in the space where clothes are meant to be dried.Wash basins are filled with food waste, when there is a separate dustbin to dispose leftover food.
I didn't see a space for problem if at all we could follow the simple rules written all over in Dzongkha and English both. Have I been perfect? No, I arrived late but I greeted the guards with apology and if they asked me to wait I would wait. My visitors left late too and they were shouted at by G4S but I have gone close to them and explained and apologized. But I have spent the rest of time entertaining the sick, clean the toilet, and at one time I have self appointed myself to investigate on a person who was smoking in the ward toilet. I failed to find him but nurses have flashed the message that if he is caught both the smoker and his patient will be kicked out of the hospital.
These people working at hospital at strange hours taking care of our people have their own family sleeping without them at home, and they get their hands in our shit and blood, which our own people won't do. Some of our folks won't even visit us at the hospital because they believe in 'Dhrip'(bad energy that comes with birthing and dying), and I say nurse and doctors would have died of that then. Hospitals are our gateway to the world and exit from the world and these people are the ones who help us at these critical hours.
I wish to send my deepest gratitude to the people working in Thimphu hospital and hospitals across the country for doing the dirty job for us and still tolerating our unending demands. I also pay respect to their frustrations,(after all there is a human inside those angels as well) which many great nurses have brought under their control. I also hope that those unreasonable, biased and arrogant people also change themselves so that one day everybody looks at hospital as a place of worship.
Bulls don't get it! We do. |
I didn't see a space for problem if at all we could follow the simple rules written all over in Dzongkha and English both. Have I been perfect? No, I arrived late but I greeted the guards with apology and if they asked me to wait I would wait. My visitors left late too and they were shouted at by G4S but I have gone close to them and explained and apologized. But I have spent the rest of time entertaining the sick, clean the toilet, and at one time I have self appointed myself to investigate on a person who was smoking in the ward toilet. I failed to find him but nurses have flashed the message that if he is caught both the smoker and his patient will be kicked out of the hospital.
These people working at hospital at strange hours taking care of our people have their own family sleeping without them at home, and they get their hands in our shit and blood, which our own people won't do. Some of our folks won't even visit us at the hospital because they believe in 'Dhrip'(bad energy that comes with birthing and dying), and I say nurse and doctors would have died of that then. Hospitals are our gateway to the world and exit from the world and these people are the ones who help us at these critical hours.
I wish to send my deepest gratitude to the people working in Thimphu hospital and hospitals across the country for doing the dirty job for us and still tolerating our unending demands. I also pay respect to their frustrations,(after all there is a human inside those angels as well) which many great nurses have brought under their control. I also hope that those unreasonable, biased and arrogant people also change themselves so that one day everybody looks at hospital as a place of worship.
08 September 2012
Happy Retirement Lopen
Lopen Namgay Phuntsho from Punakha was a teacher since 1973. It was an emotional moment when I saw about his retirement on the Facebook. He is finally done with his job. In last 40 years he made differences in lives of thousands. Those thousands include me. This great teacher and I crossed our paths in Drukgyel and I spent four best years of my life under his care.
During my days in Drukgyel I feared my share of fear and loved this man as much. It didn't take long before I understood his true content. He was the personification of truth and Justice and maintained these two greatest principles throughout, that no soul ever dared challenge this stainless man. He made us believe in truthfulness, and we trusted him for justice.
When I took my first step in Drukgyel the first advice I was given by my seniors was to tell the truth if I was caught doing mischief. His long experience has given him the super ability to detect lies, and thus becoming the first known biological Lie-Detector. He would throw a few question and if the culprit is lying he would turn very red (perhaps this is where he got his nick name- Asha Maap, which mean uncle Red) and remove his HMT watch and the show goes on until the truth comes out.
The best part of the man is that he honours truth. He would stop when the truth comes out, and it was up to us to decide when to tell it. That taught us life's best lesson. I was caught drunk with two of my friends and even before he asked I told him I drank beer. He said, "Even beer can make you drunk, but it's better than whiskey." He took us home and offered tea and he never mentioned about the beer. That's it. I never dared another bottle of beer until the last few days in Drukgyel.
About justice, this man was the leveler. In his hostel it's ok to be a villager's son to enjoy equal privileges. My three years of torture in Gaupay and three years even before that in Dawakha had made me believe that we were lesser human and that we only deserved lesser than those from richer families. But in Drukgyel Lopen Namgay Phuntsho called us all by our names and he took us for who we are and not for who our parents were. Every punishment is justifiable against our mischief and nobody cries foul, we just cry. He did not have a list of favorites, nor did he have a blacklist. Life in Drukgyel was fun and scary but not insecure, thanks to this man.
I faintly remember an incident where he was firing a boy and the boy was begging for mercy, and from his house came his old mother with a stick and our deadly warden ran like a little boy. That boy was rescued. I loved that incident, not because the boy was spared but because it showed how he still remained his mama's boy.
After nine year, that was last year, I met him in Lobesa. At first I nearly ran away then I remembered I was a married man with a daughter now and that I have also become a teacher, but that one instant when I saw him it transported be back to Drukgyel. To my grandest surprise he shook my hand and said, "Passa Tsheri, you are teacher in Bajothang no? Kinley Dorji has finally become an army officer..." He not only remembered my name and found my address, he went on telling about all my friends whom even I didn't know where they were. He was a human encyclopedia. I was spellbound. So, next time you meet him be prepared for surprises!
I thank him for being there in my life and playing very important role in my transition from a boy to a man. He also has a great role in the type of teacher I have become though I can never be half as good as him. Only thing about him that I didn't consider in shaping my life was his English, that was better left for himself.
Teaching and Disciplining Since 1973 |
The best part of the man is that he honours truth. He would stop when the truth comes out, and it was up to us to decide when to tell it. That taught us life's best lesson. I was caught drunk with two of my friends and even before he asked I told him I drank beer. He said, "Even beer can make you drunk, but it's better than whiskey." He took us home and offered tea and he never mentioned about the beer. That's it. I never dared another bottle of beer until the last few days in Drukgyel.
About justice, this man was the leveler. In his hostel it's ok to be a villager's son to enjoy equal privileges. My three years of torture in Gaupay and three years even before that in Dawakha had made me believe that we were lesser human and that we only deserved lesser than those from richer families. But in Drukgyel Lopen Namgay Phuntsho called us all by our names and he took us for who we are and not for who our parents were. Every punishment is justifiable against our mischief and nobody cries foul, we just cry. He did not have a list of favorites, nor did he have a blacklist. Life in Drukgyel was fun and scary but not insecure, thanks to this man.
I faintly remember an incident where he was firing a boy and the boy was begging for mercy, and from his house came his old mother with a stick and our deadly warden ran like a little boy. That boy was rescued. I loved that incident, not because the boy was spared but because it showed how he still remained his mama's boy.
After nine year, that was last year, I met him in Lobesa. At first I nearly ran away then I remembered I was a married man with a daughter now and that I have also become a teacher, but that one instant when I saw him it transported be back to Drukgyel. To my grandest surprise he shook my hand and said, "Passa Tsheri, you are teacher in Bajothang no? Kinley Dorji has finally become an army officer..." He not only remembered my name and found my address, he went on telling about all my friends whom even I didn't know where they were. He was a human encyclopedia. I was spellbound. So, next time you meet him be prepared for surprises!
I thank him for being there in my life and playing very important role in my transition from a boy to a man. He also has a great role in the type of teacher I have become though I can never be half as good as him. Only thing about him that I didn't consider in shaping my life was his English, that was better left for himself.
04 September 2012
One Bad Road Leads to Another
I can't believe I loved the whole idea of Ped Day once. Over the time, when it was implemented and inconveniences were caused across the society I realised I was just being too romantic with the idea, ignoring so many difficulties that it could cause to the already inefficient society.
So much is said against Ped Day and every Tuesday the anger and frustrations are growing but there is no sign yet from the government to do away with this idea of disabling the society. It has become clear that the government is desperate but submission is out of question. I feel very sorry for the government whose good intentions are all falling apart, and pulling the legs of bigger priorities.
There is an old Bhutansese saying, you have to drink the ara you prepared,no matter how it taste. And Ped Day is one such ara, the government could neither drink nor throw. The notification to allow feeding mothers to work from home was one desperate measure to ease the tension but it landed up hurting more women than it has pleased. The solution turned into problem. This is how one bad policy leads to another, and it could go on spoiling their image if they try harder because the ultimate solution lies in forgetting the Ped Day and making reasonable use of all the resources that are wasted every Tuesday.
So much is said against Ped Day and every Tuesday the anger and frustrations are growing but there is no sign yet from the government to do away with this idea of disabling the society. It has become clear that the government is desperate but submission is out of question. I feel very sorry for the government whose good intentions are all falling apart, and pulling the legs of bigger priorities.
There is an old Bhutansese saying, you have to drink the ara you prepared,no matter how it taste. And Ped Day is one such ara, the government could neither drink nor throw. The notification to allow feeding mothers to work from home was one desperate measure to ease the tension but it landed up hurting more women than it has pleased. The solution turned into problem. This is how one bad policy leads to another, and it could go on spoiling their image if they try harder because the ultimate solution lies in forgetting the Ped Day and making reasonable use of all the resources that are wasted every Tuesday.
29 August 2012
Mothers Suffering Silently
Today my mother in-law is undergoing a surgery to remove her uterus, and our joy is beyond our anxiety because we are finally removing a part of her body that has bothered her for years and couldn't share with anyone. The womb that has brought my wife and her two siblings to this world has threatened to take her own live had we not known it before it became too late.
Her uterus had prolapsed and had been hanging out through her vagina for years but because of the nature of the disease she has hidden from everyone, even from her daughter. It was during the melom chembo in Haa that her son's sister inlaw sighted it when they toileting outside. She inform my brother inlaw, who in turn took her to the doctor.
This is a common risk among elderly women who give birth at home without the assistant of medical staff, meaning many of our village mothers could be suffering silently. The woman on the next bed is awaiting the same surgery, and shockingly she has hidden the disease for 25 years.
These two ladies are lucky that theirs didn't turn into cancer, which has high probability. But not many will be lucky like them, there for I urge all daughters and educated women to check on your mothers and other elderly women in your family for any secret disease such as this if they are hiding. Your one action in time could save their lives and free them from their worse discomfort. I visited my sister last evening and asked her to check our mother though I have asked her myself without hesitation. She says she doesn't have it but I still want my sister to verify. Please verify your mothers.
To all the friends on Twitter who sent in your wishes, thank you very much, your prayers are very important for us at this hour.
Update 8th Spet 2012:
There are various causes to this sort of disease and not just unassisted birthing. One woman who underwent the same surgery the next day had left copper T inside for 12 years. It nearly took her life. But all stories in JDWNRH this time had happy ending but not many will be so lucky if they are late in seeking medical help. Therefore please take this issue seriously and do whatever is possible within your capacity to help free women around you from such disease.
My mother in-law is doing great at home now, she is recovering very fast. Thanks for all the support and prayers during our hard times. We will "Never forget the people who help you in your difficult times"
- Posted using BlogPress
Her uterus had prolapsed and had been hanging out through her vagina for years but because of the nature of the disease she has hidden from everyone, even from her daughter. It was during the melom chembo in Haa that her son's sister inlaw sighted it when they toileting outside. She inform my brother inlaw, who in turn took her to the doctor.
This is a common risk among elderly women who give birth at home without the assistant of medical staff, meaning many of our village mothers could be suffering silently. The woman on the next bed is awaiting the same surgery, and shockingly she has hidden the disease for 25 years.
These two ladies are lucky that theirs didn't turn into cancer, which has high probability. But not many will be lucky like them, there for I urge all daughters and educated women to check on your mothers and other elderly women in your family for any secret disease such as this if they are hiding. Your one action in time could save their lives and free them from their worse discomfort. I visited my sister last evening and asked her to check our mother though I have asked her myself without hesitation. She says she doesn't have it but I still want my sister to verify. Please verify your mothers.
To all the friends on Twitter who sent in your wishes, thank you very much, your prayers are very important for us at this hour.
Update 8th Spet 2012:
There are various causes to this sort of disease and not just unassisted birthing. One woman who underwent the same surgery the next day had left copper T inside for 12 years. It nearly took her life. But all stories in JDWNRH this time had happy ending but not many will be so lucky if they are late in seeking medical help. Therefore please take this issue seriously and do whatever is possible within your capacity to help free women around you from such disease.
My mother in-law is doing great at home now, she is recovering very fast. Thanks for all the support and prayers during our hard times. We will "Never forget the people who help you in your difficult times"
- Posted using BlogPress
Location:JDWNRH Thimphu
28 August 2012
Casual Leave
There is nothing casual about casual leave when your are a teacher. We are allowed ten days of leave from school in a year and because of our obligations out of school and to our family ten days are often fully utilized. But not without ten days of guilt.
Wherever a teacher goes, no matter how good our reason, the echo from the teacher-less class rings in out head throughout the time we are on leave. I have at least five classes a day, and in three days I would have missed over fifteen classes.
If I could accomplish what I have come for I would be satisfied and perhaps it also justifies my absences in school, but when I am made to wait for hours at end I really wish I could rather attend my classes and come when they are ready. And when nothing is achieved beyond long appointments and senseless excuses I feel the guilt so vivid.
Yesterday was a long failed day in Thimphu, let's see if I could do something today.
- Posted using BlogPress
Wherever a teacher goes, no matter how good our reason, the echo from the teacher-less class rings in out head throughout the time we are on leave. I have at least five classes a day, and in three days I would have missed over fifteen classes.
If I could accomplish what I have come for I would be satisfied and perhaps it also justifies my absences in school, but when I am made to wait for hours at end I really wish I could rather attend my classes and come when they are ready. And when nothing is achieved beyond long appointments and senseless excuses I feel the guilt so vivid.
Yesterday was a long failed day in Thimphu, let's see if I could do something today.
- Posted using BlogPress
24 August 2012
Curiosity Post in Bajo WiFi Park
Curiosity Post |
A school is a world in itself; rich and poor, good and bad, intelligent and dull, happy and sad, beautiful and ugly, and many other extremes. And there is another gap that divides students into two, which is called the Digital Divide, and I am hoping to break that barrier subtly. NIIT's Project in schools across the country is training every student from class VII to XII in use of computer technology and they are introduced in use of internet as well. But how much do they know about using internet as a source of knowledge? and as a tool for collaboration and learning? This post has no magic in it but it can trigger the magic students have in themselves.
I have already had several teachers and guests from abroad who passed by the post and asked me, "What is KhanAcademy?" That's where the learning begins. I love explaining about each one of them,
The Curiosity Post is a piece of art created by the eight students I have in class XI computer Studies. Each one of them carved and painted a board each and we had a tough time deciding whom to be placed at the top. I am happy Blogger won the place on the top.The bird nest on the top is borrowed from another class that has done another project of placing bird nest on trees.
Update 25th Aug: 39 Students from Raffles Institution Singapore visited our school yesterday morning along with four teachers. They spent the whole morning mixing with out students in their classes. Some of our students were stunned by the brilliance of these young Singaporean kids.
One of the teachers, Mr. Louis, who worked in Bhutan for a year and have returned thrice, told me that his student were amazed by the WiFi Park. He says they have wireless internet connection across their campus but having a specific place outside to relax and enjoy is something new to them.
23 August 2012
Creative Works of My Students in School WiFi Park
I planned a park where there will be beautiful benches to rest under the shade of green tress and wherever you sit you could catch strong WiFi connection. The idea was expensive and school had no money. But dreams require passion more than money, and passion I had enough. It didn't take long before I knew I could do it without money. With the plan in my hand I went looking for sponsors and surprisingly I received commitment from many people who would donate cement, wood, nails, electrical equipment, and wireless router.
WiFi Park Board (Hemlal and I carved and painted) |
Then I was stranded at the idea of having to make huge number of benches. I would need a carpenter to work for me over a long period of time and he would want me to pay him handsomely. Even if I had money I will run short of bench designs. That is when I turned to whirlpool of creative idea, yes my students. I announced a "Park Bench Making" competition among sixteen senior classes and promised then attractive prizes. Then I went looking for "attractive prizes" while students worked on their benches. The result amazed everybody. Following are some of the benches my students created;
Bench 14, 2nd Prize Winner |
Bench 10, Consolation Prize
|
Bench 5, Consolation Prize |
Bench 9, Winner |
With major portion of the work happening on its own, I was left with loads of energy to focus on the technical infrastructure, which was completed right away. Then I had to build a pavilion that will not only provide shade but also power supply to charge laptops. A colleague and his class of students volunteered to takeover the work.
The Pavilion |
22 August 2012
Suggestions to Drukair
Because I only flew your Airlines twice I don't know if you would take my words seriously, but on the second thought I felt you would appreciate my concerns because I am a Bhutanese who flew only twice and already has something to share.
I have been at the airport over seven times waiting for my sister and for the seven times I wished we had some shelter indoor to take refuge, especially during the cold winter days. Is it not possible to create an indoor space for the people (not the passengers) to wait and eat during the long waiting hours and also during the long delayed departures? It can be a good business as well.
Then during such waiting times, we look at the LCD screens outside for information but the information displayed there are technically short to understand. My sister comes from Bangkok but the screen shows flights from Dhaka and Nepal. Even with the huge screen hanging we have to resort to asking people nearby to know that the flight from Bangkok is the one coming from Dhaka. In big airports they have too many flights info to display therefore they keep it brief but in Paro the big screen as only two or three lines to show and I suggest if you could consider giving clearer information about the flights. Like KB-217- From BKK, Via Dhaka etc.
I don't mind not having tissue paper to over the toilet pot, as long as there is tissue to wipe because I have used dirtier toilets but there are many people travelling some of whom might be very particular. I saw that the chambers in the tiny in-flight lavatory where soap and toilet pot wrapper are kept were empty when I was flying from Paro. Surprisingly they were filled up when I returned. I assumed that you all assume your Bhutanese passengers flying from Paro don't require too much luxury.
There is a need to pay attention to the conditions of the seats. The colors have changed and some are shining with dirt. Armrest from the front seat falls directly on to the knee of the passenger on the back seat, and I am sure this is not supposed to happen. This aircraft I travelled in was too new to see such fate. It is not everyday that our country can buy aircraft therefore stitch in time might save nine.
And finally I had big concern with the departure time from Bangkok. Bangkok is the gateway to Bhutan for people from whole world and their very first travelling experience to Bhutan should not be a sleepless night of waiting and rushing to the airport at dark hours of the morning. Even for Bhutanese travelers returning home, after having enjoyed the whole trip in city the ordeal of early hour flight is like that flashlight in Men In Black that erases all the memories. Please make that flight an enjoyable experience instead of having everybody sleeping on board due to the sleepless night.
So many comments from a man who has traveled only twice might irritate you but let me humbly submit that twice was enough for a man who observes with concern.
Update 23rd Aug: Is it only me who thought Drukair and Civil Aviation are the same thing? Thanks to friends on Twitter for letting me know that they are two separate bodies. Now I know that when I talk about airport services I should be addressing it to civil aviation. And I very happy that Druk Air responded positively on twitter.
I have been at the airport over seven times waiting for my sister and for the seven times I wished we had some shelter indoor to take refuge, especially during the cold winter days. Is it not possible to create an indoor space for the people (not the passengers) to wait and eat during the long waiting hours and also during the long delayed departures? It can be a good business as well.
Then during such waiting times, we look at the LCD screens outside for information but the information displayed there are technically short to understand. My sister comes from Bangkok but the screen shows flights from Dhaka and Nepal. Even with the huge screen hanging we have to resort to asking people nearby to know that the flight from Bangkok is the one coming from Dhaka. In big airports they have too many flights info to display therefore they keep it brief but in Paro the big screen as only two or three lines to show and I suggest if you could consider giving clearer information about the flights. Like KB-217- From BKK, Via Dhaka etc.
I don't mind not having tissue paper to over the toilet pot, as long as there is tissue to wipe because I have used dirtier toilets but there are many people travelling some of whom might be very particular. I saw that the chambers in the tiny in-flight lavatory where soap and toilet pot wrapper are kept were empty when I was flying from Paro. Surprisingly they were filled up when I returned. I assumed that you all assume your Bhutanese passengers flying from Paro don't require too much luxury.
There is a need to pay attention to the conditions of the seats. The colors have changed and some are shining with dirt. Armrest from the front seat falls directly on to the knee of the passenger on the back seat, and I am sure this is not supposed to happen. This aircraft I travelled in was too new to see such fate. It is not everyday that our country can buy aircraft therefore stitch in time might save nine.
And finally I had big concern with the departure time from Bangkok. Bangkok is the gateway to Bhutan for people from whole world and their very first travelling experience to Bhutan should not be a sleepless night of waiting and rushing to the airport at dark hours of the morning. Even for Bhutanese travelers returning home, after having enjoyed the whole trip in city the ordeal of early hour flight is like that flashlight in Men In Black that erases all the memories. Please make that flight an enjoyable experience instead of having everybody sleeping on board due to the sleepless night.
So many comments from a man who has traveled only twice might irritate you but let me humbly submit that twice was enough for a man who observes with concern.
Update 23rd Aug: Is it only me who thought Drukair and Civil Aviation are the same thing? Thanks to friends on Twitter for letting me know that they are two separate bodies. Now I know that when I talk about airport services I should be addressing it to civil aviation. And I very happy that Druk Air responded positively on twitter.
21 August 2012
Strange Case of Failed Parenting
Our school was informed about one of our girls being involved in illicit relationship after school, and after repeated information school followed up and caught the girl red-handed. She was called to office the next day along with her parents but she has brought along her sister, stating her father has gone to a meeting. The sister said that the father was sick. We knew the father was neither sick nor in meeting but knowing that it's a matter to be discussed with female member first we entrusted the sister to understand the risk of innocent girl being involved in such cases and requested her to inform her parents to take care of the girl after school.
The case was dealt sensitively and the girl was given to understand the full gravity of the situation but as if to insult all our effort she asked the school to let her withdraw from the school for a year. She said she would continue next year. We dealt with her plea even more carefully, stating she should discuss with her parents and bring the parents along to school.
That evening we received a call from the girl's mother and the call wasn't just unreasonable but shocking at best. Now you decide what type of home the girl lives in;
"How can you throw out my child from the school? Do you think I don't know any rule? I have watched on TV about school rules and I know my child is allowed to commit mistake for three times before she could be expelled from the school." (Well, that debate on BBS has confused her more than it educated her. Hope she is alone in this confusion)
School explained that her girl was not expelled whatsoever and we wanted her to change her decision of dropping the school for a year. We explained about the case and also the presence of the sister during the process. But the mother went on,
"Why can't my girls make boyfriends? There are many girls like that why are you only pointing at my girl. Your own madams have said that girls are allowed to make boyfriends and that they have to use condom..." (This very discouraging. Over ten lady teachers took weeks to plan the awareness program and invested one whole Saturday in talking to the girls and here someone just misuses the intention of the words.)
After that school saw no point in discussing the matter with this mother. All our efforts in caring for the girl looked like a failed mission looking at the kind of mother that runs the home. We asked the mother to come to the office to settle the matter- though there was nothing to settle at all.
I in particular want this woman to swallow every word of hers, but the mother never showed herself in school. The girl's father came with loads of apology. He informed us that his wife was drunk while accusing the school. At least he understood that we were trying to help his daughter, attitude that has become rare among parents.
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