Living after Death

Earlier this week BBS headlines included a piece of News from Japan; body parts of a dead man were donated. And our students also brought it in the headlines of Bajo Broadcasting on Saturday this morning; of course they always make hot news out of stale ones. I was translating the news to my Singaporean friend Germaine and to my surprise she was surprised. She asked, “How come it is even news?” She told me that in Singapore everybody donates by default.

Then I wondered about our culture; we burn everything and perform expensive rituals. And people believe that if the body couldn’t be cremated well or the rituals weren’t performed right the soul won’t find its path and may come back as a ghost. But Buddha didn’t teach us so. He taught us to be selfless, he taught us to detach ourselves from our body even when we are living, but what are we doing? We don’t want to give up our body even when we die, worse we burn it- how selfish.

Bhutan should be the first country in the world to adopt body parts donation as national pride by the virtue of being the only Buddhist GNH country. But I am sure we will be the last country to be because we are so resistant to good change.

No matter what I am agreeing to donate my body parts after I die; I want to live after death. I swear I will not come back as a ghost.

My Take away List!

• Take my heart, it is strong and good.
• Take my brain, it is only half used.
• Take my kidney, they are stonefree.
• Take my liver, I only drink occasionally.
• Take my Lungs; I only smoked for three years.

But Don’t take my stomach, it’s bad, it took in lots of chickens, goats, cows, yaks, pigs, even some frogs. It is the source of unhappiness. Give it to my family for cremation. And during my funeral ask them to play Scorpion’s Wind of Change. And know that I am living after death because my heart will still be beating…

I Am a Satisfied Hubsonther

What is hubsonther? You might not have heard the word ever because I could only create it a week ago. Three torturing hours of invigilation duties throughout last week gave me room for meditating on a family concept I had in mind for quite sometime. Hubsonther is a noun. It is a stage in a man’s life when he is a son, husband and father together. It also refers to a man in this stage and therefore I am a hubsonther. By now you must have made out the three words I integrated; (Hub)by (Son) Fa(ther).

Hubsonther Family Tetrahedron

Last month when my mother came to visit me I took my family out several times. During these visits to our regular places I would introduce my mother to the local friends and then I would jokingly introduce my wife and daughter too (whom they already know). Then I realized that I was a hubsonther and I silently beamed with pride.

Hubsonther is the most challenging period in a man’s life; having to please three different generations of people. My mother remained my highest priority ever since my childhood and she is proud of me for making her proud year after year. There are hundreds of stories my mother would share about me back in village. And that makes me a good son.

Wife is someone you choose from among the strangers and give her the best place in your life but often people land up growing distant from their bloodline after marriage in process of pleasing that one woman. But the fact of life is you only get to choose wife in life, not your mother, father or siblings not even your children. Therefore marriage is more than your personal love. Love is blind and often selfish therefore leave it aside while dealing with something as serious as marriage.

I have known my wife before I loved her, which is why she is a gift to my mother and when my mother appreciates the gift that becomes blessing for my wife. That is not an easy task to bring two women of different generation into harmony. Rest is all in my hand to be a responsible husband and I have often overheard my wife talking about her happiness with her old friends over the phone. And that makes me a good husband.

I am my step son’s best friend in all aspects; we share common interests and ideology. He appreciates me and I envy him except his carelessness in studies. We are on the same side every time we are into family debate against his mother. My daughter is just too small to comprehend my love now but I am confident that she will be proud to call me father when she grows up. For now I am giving up on all my personal ambitions just to be by her side every night. She already acknowledges my presence and I feel like I am a good father.

Tetrahedron Chick here for source

Mathematically hubsonther is a tetrahedron, the four triangular faces representing my mother, my wife, my children and I in perfect fit, with every side attached to the other three sides equally. I won’t like myself to be a better son than I am a husband, or better father than I am a son, I wish to be equally good in all three just as the geometric shape illustrates. Tetrahedron is one of the most stable three dimensional shapes just as my family is and that gives me unlimited pride and satisfaction. Thus I declare I am a satisfied hubsonther.

Breast Envy

In Sigmund Freud’s psychosexual development theory there is an interesting phrase that describes a girl child’s desire for penis, and the power that it represents. This is described as penis envy. I ain’t Freud’s fan a bit; everything in his theory sounds crazy but I own a strange feeling that no word could describe, and which somehow relates to his penis envy concept. 

After I became father I started wondering why I can’t breastfeed my daughter. I shared my funny state of mind with Germaine, a Singaporean friend, who inspired me with stories she read about male breast feeding being possible in some scientific research papers. It is known as male lactation.  She gave me a few living examples including a western doctor and a Hollywood actor. I tried a few times myself but my daughter would look at my face and smile away. 

It is too much a job for a mother to carry the baby for nine months in her belly, suffer the near death experience of delivery, and still having to sooth the baby every now and then, even in the middle of night. What are fathers for? Gone are the days when fathers go out in search of food, now a days if father puts the bread on the table it is mother who puts the butter. But god needs to redesign the human anatomy. Why did he have to give both to woman after all, what if the mother passes away? Why did he have to give two little nipples to man when he had no intention of filling it up?

My daughter likes playing with me, knowing I could lift her higher than her mother do and take her places out of home. But every now and then she looks for her mother despite my hardest effort in pleasing her. When she wakes from her naps I love being by her but she would cry as if she saw a stranger, only her mother’s presence would make her smile. She can spend days without me and that makes me feel inferior. I am almost unnecessary in my daughter’s growth. If only I could breastfeed her I would feel like a complete father.

Cc: to God, for necessary action.

e- Soonkey

Soonkey means a holy locket, a tiny packet containing prayer stitched in silken pouch or a miniature statue or a picture of some god or just a foot long string, generally worn by Buddhists and even Hindus as protection from evil influences, just as Christians wear cross. Soonkey was a priceless gift pilgrims bring home from holy places like Dorjidhing, Tsho Pema, Lhasa, and even Bumthang Kuje, Paro Taktshang, and Paro Chumphu. Over

the time fashion influenced soonkey's designs; any piece hang-able on the neck becomes soonkey with blessing received upon it, making it worth commercial. Ironically even bullets are worn as soonkey! Many won't want to wear the bamboo piece from Paro Chumphu, once considered holiest. So this is a little bit about soonkey, but what is e-Soonkey?

This is my very personal invention and therefore must sound crazy to some. Though my faith in religion and god is deep rooted, I often

take some practices for granted, by choice or by chance. People give me soonkeys and I appreciate it so much but I hardly have it on my neck the next day, either it went lose or I forgot to wear it back after shower. What I don't forget to wear on my neck is my 1 GB Thumb Drive (you may call it Pen Drive or USB Drive). I don't remember a day I didn't wear it! Now the point is Why don't I get my Thumb Drive blessed and wear it as soonkey?

Logic behind the idea is no just I-don't-forget-to-wear-it but that 1 GB space can hold hundreds of pages of prayer, hundreds of Kupars, and religious symbols along side my important documents and software. If the same amount of prayers, kupars and symbols are to be hung literally on your neck; perhaps you may need a car to carry your soonkey. Now, if you question the content of the device being just virtual and nonphysical, you should perhaps reflect on your faith.

So my e-Soonkey is the marriage of faith and technology.

At times I funnily believe that someday e-Soonkey may be more effective than antivirus in protection against computer viruses.