Surprise Gift from my Wife

My wife Kezang said she had a surprise gift for my birthday last June. Now that was a surprise in itself. It got be nervous because she wasn’t known for any kind of surprises, in fact she hated surprises.

I assumed she was going to do something romantic for once. If she woke me up on my birthday and gave me a flower then I would be surprised because that was the last thing she would do. She’s very romance shy woman, who thinks what happens in movies and books should remain there.

Anyway, my birthday came and went uneventfully, as usual, without any surprise whatsoever. I didn’t show any obvious sign of disappointment but deep down I was upset that she forgot her surprise gift. Few days passed and when she never mentioned about it I had to bring it up.

Me: Where is your ‘surprise gift’?

Kezang: I already gave you, you didn’t notice?

Me: No, is it kind of invisible?

Kezang: Sort of, it was something visible that became invisible.

Me: Come on, just say you forgot it.

Kezang: No, I gifted you your wife’s health!

Me: What do you mean?

Kezang: I quit smoking since your birthday!

Kezang has been smoking even before we met. In between she quit once for three years, from the time she was expecting our daughter till she stopped breastfeeding. But such was a smoker’s urge, only few days after she stopped breastfeeding she just restarted smoking. In three years her urge didn’t die. Those three years were the biggest sacrifice the mother in her had done for her child.

I tried everything I could to make her quit but she just couldn’t. I had blackmailed her, scared her, sweet-talked her, read articles, share inspiring pictures, showed YouTube videos, and even bought substitutes like nicotine chewing gums. She would agree to every word I said but she just couldn’t give up.

I told her that we had to grow old together and see our children grow. I even reminded her of how her skin rejuvenated and glowed when she stopped smoking for three years. I always told her that she was committing a gradual suicide and planning to leave us alone helplessly.

I couldn’t imagine a life without her and she was smoking her life away slowly each day. Soon I began to feel that if it was so much part of her I mustn’t take it away from her, though both of us knew we would have a wonderful life without smoking. She was fighting her own losing battle against it.

But just when I felt so hopeless my unromantic wife gifting me the most romantic gift ever. She has made her choice before it’s late, when the time is right, where there is still enough strength left in our age to rebuild our health. It’s been four months since she quit and now she tells me that her urge is gone completely.

It was indeed the biggest surprise gift ever and I wish this happened to all the couples that are so much in love and have the longing to grow old together. 

Love Story and Real Life Story

My son is in love and he is very serious about it, which makes me very happy as a father and as a friend to my grown up son but there are some thing I want to tell him about love and life but he won't listen to me, perhaps he thinks I am too ugly to judge his love story or perhaps he thinks I am too old to understand  his way of life. I don't blame him and his school of thought. They are inspired by our generation.

Our generation, who are now parents of young adults are responsible for reshaping the culture of modern Bhutan. We were the ones who introduced love story in schools, who were the ones who experimented with drugs, we were the ones who formed gangs and popularised gang fights, and therefore now we are paying for all the wrongs.

I personally have no hand in any of the revolution in schools those days, I fought but alone, I loved but silently, and to my parents I have been the best son who gave them happiness every year and who never bothered them financially or socially. Perhaps that's why it hurts worst when my own child doesn't pay attention to my words.

I was only explaining to him a simple concept of love and life. At his age it's his natural right to fall in love and think that the world revolves around his girlfriend. At his age it's also obvious to love the song "when we are hungry, love will keep us alive." But sometimes it's foolish to wait and learn from ones own mistake, we could easily learn from others mistakes. I have seen that love doesn't keep people alive when they have nothing in the kitchen.

My Facebook Cover :(

I have met many high school lovers of our time living desperate and pathetic lives and wosres without each other, they have tasted real life and understood that their high school love wasn't enough to keep them together. I don't want my son to regret his love story like them, I want him to have a wonderful life with her and tell their children about their long love story. For that to happen they must concentrate on building the foundation of good life, which is education.

If they truly love each other and have serious intention of living the rest of their life together they should inspire each other to study harder, promise to bring great results, insist on completing homework, remind about assignment, and all the loving things that will bring them joy and seal their future.

But encouraging each other in bunking school, missing classes, ignoring homeworks, spending wasteful hours on phone and Facebook chat, and cheating parents and romancing will only bring momentary and selfish pleasure. These are recipe for a disastrous life and relationship. They will hate each other for being the reason for their failure in life.

But there is still time and I want my child to listen to me once seriously and live his love life intelligently. I also want my students and all the student lovers to decide how they want to live and love...

Strange Case of Failed Parenting

Our school was informed about one of our girls being involved in illicit relationship after school, and after repeated information school followed up and caught the girl red-handed. She was called to office the next day along with her parents but she has brought along her sister, stating her father has gone to a meeting. The sister said that the father was sick. We knew the father was neither sick nor in meeting but knowing that it's a matter to be discussed with female member first we entrusted the sister to understand the risk of innocent girl being involved in such cases and requested her to inform her parents to take care of the girl after school.

The case was dealt sensitively and the girl was given to understand the full gravity of the situation but as if to insult all our effort she asked the school to let her withdraw from the school for a year. She said she would continue next year. We dealt with her plea even more carefully, stating she should discuss with her parents and bring the parents along to school.

That evening we received a call from the girl's mother and the call wasn't just unreasonable but shocking at best. Now you decide what type of home the girl lives in;

"How can you throw out my child from the school? Do you think I don't know any rule? I have watched on TV about school rules and I know my child is allowed to commit mistake for three times before she could be expelled from the school." (Well, that debate on BBS has confused her more than it educated her. Hope she is alone in this confusion)

School explained that her girl was not expelled whatsoever and we wanted her to change her decision of dropping the school for a year. We explained about the case and also the presence of the sister during the process. But the mother went on,

"Why can't my girls make boyfriends? There are many girls like that why are you only pointing at my girl. Your own madams have said that girls are allowed to make boyfriends and that they have to use condom..." (This very discouraging. Over ten lady teachers took weeks to plan the awareness program and invested one whole Saturday in talking to the girls and here someone just misuses the intention of the words.) 

After that school saw no point in discussing the matter with this mother. All our efforts in caring for the girl looked like a failed mission looking at the kind of mother that runs the home. We asked the mother to come to the office to settle the matter- though there was nothing to settle at all. 

I in particular want this woman to swallow every word of hers, but the mother never showed herself in school. The girl's father came with loads of apology. He informed us that his wife was drunk while accusing the school. At least he understood that we were trying to help his daughter, attitude that has become rare among parents.

Jigme's Surprise Morning Speech

On the morning of 18 August it was Jigme's turn to give speech in the assembly and coincidentally I was the teacher on duty. I saw him excited about it for a few days. He told me that he was supposed to speak on a great personality, therefore he wanted to talk about Albert Einstein. I prepared a small note on Einstein to supplement his speech as any duty teacher would do. And as he spoke it took me by surprise:

Jigme loves football: Jersey No.17

"The great personality I am going to speak about today is someone who brings changes in everyone’s life, especially to my life. He is charming. He is tall and he is funny. He has not won any Oscars nor has he built any great structure but what he has done to my life far surpasses the legend of Albert Einstein or arts of Picasso. He didn’t invent the telephone, he wasn’t the man who landed on the moon, and he didn’t even act in any movie yet... He has simply touched hearts and made differences in lives. For me he has brought a light in my life and has given me the reason to be happy. His words are pure and simple and he is the best person I or you will ever encounter in life. He will walk into your life and walk you out of your sorrows forever.
He is my Google for he has answers to my entire questions; He is my Facebook for he connects me to the world. No one can fully understand the effect of this man than I who lives in his reliance.  He is the man I look up to as my role model, my icon and my idol. And he is none other than my dad, our teacher and your friend Mr. Passang Tshering." 

As he finished it was my turn to supplement his speech, and my note on Einstein won't work. I grabbed the mic and didn't really know how to begin for a long time. I could feel an emotional knot tightening somewhere inside my chest. With my voice lilting I began finally:

The great personality my son is speaking about is me. He told me he was going to speak about Albert Einstein and I am surprised that he chose me over Einstein. Many of you already know, and for those who don't know, Jigme is my step son (avoid the "step" when you say). But two of us share many things in common and thus we have build a relationship which stands the test of time.
There are many of us who perceive Divorce as something very negative but Jigme accepted it. Many blame their parents for breaking the family and try to take ruthless revenge but Jigme didn't do that. Ever since our time, children from broken families use their family problem as license to be naughty but one thing you must understand is that it wasn't easy for your parents to go separate ways either, but when things don't work well between the two there is hardly any option left. It isn't about a day or two, marriages are for life time and no one would want to waste this one life in an unhappy relationship. Jigme accepted the truth and accepted me into his life and it should be a message to everyone who share similar fate to respect your parents' decision and give them their rights to happiness. And because of our very special relation we make up a very happy family and I wish happiness to all of you.
And Jigme, thank you for speaking about me, I know how you feel about me even if you hadn't spoken.

I had so many thing I wanted to share about me and Jigme but I had to keep note of the time as well.

P:S: Jigme and I have always thought of each other as our own and I don't appreciate when people address me as his step father or him as my step son.  

I Nearly Failed as a Father

It takes huge guts to confess that I nearly failed my duty as a father. I don't blame my mother for my long nose, I rather thank her for keeping it intact on my face throughout my restless childhood. But damn I nearly lost my daughter beautiful nose two days ago. I woke up from my nap to my daughter's cry, then almost went back to sleep when I heard her cry again.
When I checked she wasn't in the kitchen with her mother. I ran out on to the balcony to meet my little girl running to me with her face covered in blood. My heart broke right away. I hated myself for having taken a nap, I blamed my wife for not having noticed her slipped away. I wasn't sure what happened to her and what to do.
Upon investigation we found that our baby fell of face-down from the veranda, thank go we live on the ground floor, just about a foot from the ground. I had left some carpentry work unfinished, among which there were several planks with nails on. Her face was scratched by one nail, from middle of her brows till right nostril. Then she had toppled down and hit her head on the cement ground. Despite the fall she has managed to climb back and came to us crying. During this whole process of falling, bleeding, crying, and climbing back, her father was sleeping and that gave me the greatest pain. It was the mercy of god that the nail didn't go into her eyes or her soft skull.
It was such a relieve when we discovered that the cut on her face was not deep and that it wouldn't leave any scar. Swelling on her temple soon subsided and she started playing with me again, and I swear I will never leave her alone. I want to urge all my friends who are parents to be extra careful with your babies because I have had friends in school and college whom god had created beautiful but their parents failed their duties when they were babies and thus they had to live with their parents' mistakes forever. God saved me this time!

My Daughter is not teething

Many of you have seen my baby grow through my blog and you would agree that she is a very healthy girl. She is far more intelligent than any baby I ever saw, not to mention her physical strength and sound making ability. She can already tease us and make us laugh just when she wants. Just five days ago she was gliding over the floor on her belly and as if to mark her 11th month she crawled that evening. She is 11 months 4 days today and can walk on her feet with little support from things around her. By all this my daughter is an illustration of perfect healthy baby... if only she had some teeth in her little mouth. My daughter doesn't have her first pair of teeth yet.

29th Oct 2010- 11 months old and toothless angel of mine

Dear readers (senior parents, doctors and anybody who knows about it), is it something I should be worrying about? Should I just wait or rush to hospital for some sort of medication, if any? I am writing to parenting@bbs.com.bt though but it would be nice if you could give me your piece of mind.