My Adopted Sister Nima Chunda

My childhood has been interesting. Everyone who knew me as a boy has unforgettable stories to share. From the outside, they must have found it adventurous. But I have been trying to forget everything because there weren’t many beautiful moments I could cherish. I don’t want to be hateful. I want to be different.

My childhood was kind of a dirty street where only a few kind people had walked by and I mean the real kind ones whose kindnesses were compassionate and unconditional. Since I had only a few such people in my life I am going to begin writing about them, one by one.

1997, Paro: I was in junior high school fighting for attention. I would be in trouble every other day. I wasn’t scared of any form of punishment. It seemed like I enjoyed being punished. I was avoided like an infected dog. As a dirty village troublemaker, it was easy for people to hate me.

1996, Paro

Life would have been different if I was cute. It could have been forgivable if I was rich, or at least talented. I was miserable in studies, sports, music and everything that could have made life easy in junior school. I was rather into fighting most of the time. I would be beaten often, and if I survived I would have it from the teachers.

But there was one girl who looked at me differently. She was quiet and gentle. She was perhaps a little older than me or a little more matured. She'd told people that I was her adopted bother. I went numb when I heard that as if I had waited all my life to hear that. It was a culture in the '90s to adopt brothers and sisters but like I said you had to be special to be chosen. People were shocked that a gentle girl had accepted the most mischievous boy in the school as her brother. I was equally shocked.

From that day I began to hide from her, and whenever I was going to do anything undesirable I would scan the whole place to make sure she wasn't around. Soon people knew about this spell that worked on me and started using her name as key to controlling me.

Perhaps she must be the first girl to whom I spoke softly; I called her Aue Nima. Her name was Nima Chunda. When she called me to seat with her and share her lunch, I would be the quietest boy with all the decency that I didn’t know I had. People passing by would stop to confirm if it was really me. 

That summer, I didn’t have money to go home and she had heard that. She took me to her family and gave me three best days of my childhood until she got enough money to buy me tickets home. I had good food, slept in a soft bed, visited her relatives and watched endless movies. She would take me to videocassette shops and make me choose movies. Imagine the joy of getting to watch movies of your choice in the ’90s.

She would often send me her lunchbox so that I could taste better home-cooked food. She would call me by the riverside during the weekends and help me do my laundry. She would send me gifts and goodies. I was new to all these acts of kindness; I only saw those happen to other boys in the hostel. She made me feel like anyone in the hostel; wanted and normal. I suddenly began to see the world differently.

To this day I wonder how a small girl of her age had such a compassionate heart to care for me, who didn’t even have a cute smile to return. She was the best thing to happen to me in my junior school.

My mother would often ask, “Where is your Aue Nima now, what’s she doing?” and the last time she asked me I told her, “Aue Nima has become a nurse. She is in Thimphu Hospital. We are in touch.” My wife and daughter heard Aue Nima's story from me more than once and we met several times.

Today, when I could help a random person somewhere I remember Aue Nima, because I know the DNA was passed down from my adopted sister. 

Lunch for Dr.Lotay and Team

Dr.Lotay's team began their voluntary surgical camp in Bajothang on 4th Nov 2013. The next day my wife underwent the surgery. During my two days in the hospital I have witnessed the finest human qualities and absolute sacrifice. He ran from one end of the hospital to another with bright smile on his face, between two surgeries he sees 10 to 20 patients, still there are people waiting to take chances on his way to the OT. He shows no sign of disgust, he rather walks them to the bench and ask them to wait there until he finishes his next case. This continues from 8 in the morning to late into the night. In the following day the team spent over 18 hrs straight, completing record 32 cases in a day, and calling it a day only at 5AM in the morning.

Dr.Lotay doing his last surgery in Bajothang on 13th Nov.

 I was so proud to see my school mate and adopted sister Nime Chunda in the team. She always had that caring nature in her and this time she has found the right team to work with. She hides her shy smile behind the mask and deals with hundreds of patients with consistent softness. I offered to bring her meals but she declined saying she eats with the team in the hospital itself and that's when I learned that they were eating at the hospital mess. I know the food there isn't so bad but for the team that's doing so much I felt it would be an honour to offer them good meals.

I made a casual post on Facebook about offering lunch to the team and suddenly I received a message from a Bhutanese living in New York. Ugay Wangmo supports various causes in Bhutan and this time she asked me to offer lunch to the team and has sent me Nu.10,000. I was so motivated that I offered to serve them lunch throughout their stay here. Even my school and my friends promised their help. By 10th Nov morning my wife recovered enough to help me and together we worked on menu for 13 member team and over 6 helpers. We ordered the lunch from the best hotel in the town.

It's interesting to observe that the team has no set lunch break, they run for lunch in twos and threes as they get time and rush back. Dr.Lotay himself had less than 20 mins to finish his lunch before the next case was ready. But I love it so much when he looked at his menu and commented: "Someone must have told you that I love fish." Yes he loves fish. He was so pleased to see my wife standing and working. Later in the evening when we went to serve them tea and momo, he took my wife in front of the crowd of anxious people and said, "See, there is nothing to worry about. She had her surgery and now she can even work, she is our cook." She was made to show her healing wounds.

Patients consult Dr.Lotay during the Lunch Break

That night they went on till 5AM in the morning to complete 32 cases. After few hours of rest on 11th Nov they conducted 80 endoscopy and still managed to work on seven surgeries which took them till 2:30 AM, this morning. During the lunch I expected to see everybody exhausted but not surprisingly they were full of energy. They were relaxed and had little more time to spare. They say that jokes keep them awake and give them energy but at the end it's the passion that drives them to extremes.

I got a call from a young entrepreneur, Chencho Dorji who wants to help me in offering lunch to the team and he contributed the additional amount of Nu.2000 for yesterday's lunch. For tomorrow a close friend of mine, and an inspiring young leader has offered his hand. He said said, his is not rich but he can do so much for Dr.Lotay. He will send me Nu.5000. He chose to be unnamed. At the end I may have to contribute only a small amount but experience of doing it is an honour for my family and all thanks to three of you.

The following is a poem that has inspired Dr.Lotay and I hope it does the same to all of us. Thanks Tshewang Rabgay for sharing it.

Do it Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. 
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. 
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. 
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. 
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. 
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. 
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. 
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. 
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. 
It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

Florence Nightingale in Punakha Hospital: Golden Gift from Burma

That wasn't my first encounter with rude nurses, I have seen enough of them before. But after coming to Bajothang everything changed. I shared intimate relationship with people in our hospital. They have their children studying in my school and some of them studied here themselves, that made all the difference and I was soon pampered. It made me think that all the rude nurses have either changed or have disappeared.
But last four days gave me the chance to wake up from my fairy tale and see the unchanged reality and untamed nurses. My mother in-law had her womb prolapsed  and was due to undergo a surgery to remove it. But an ulcer somewhere on her cervix needs to be healed first. She needs dressing and packing on daily basis and I could think of no place better than Bajo.
I was waiting outside the hospital and my wife was taking forever. When she finally came out she was almost crying. She said the surgeon would pay any attention, though she presented all the document from Thimphu. The Dressing room nurses send her to ward, and ward nurses send her back. She had to walk the length of hospital several times with her sick mother. She could finally get it done at the ward, though they kept mentioning that it wasn't their job. We thought things are settled but the same ordeal continued the next day and the next. I then understood how ordinary patients are struggling everyday. I noticed that there were many new faces and sadly wondered why do we have to know each other to receive good treatment when their only job is the nurse the sick. On the fourth day the nurse who knew how to do packing wouldn't look at us. She was free but angry with us. She directed two first-timers to deal with it and despite their best effort they landed up bleeding my mother in-law.
That's what took us to Punakha Hospital. The gynecologist there wasn't a Bhutanese either but the moment we saw her it felt like we were breathing fresh air after a long time. She is a Burmese and speaks soft English. It was afternoon when we met her but she was full of energy and smile, something very new to us. That morning she had conducted two Cesareans and if there is anyone who has to be tired and frustrated it's her but she was ready for more. That makes Punakha Hospital the safest place for giving birth.
She took in my mother in-law and educated my wife on all aspects of the problem, which was when my wife got to understand the disease for the first time. The Burmese then instructed my wife to come with plastic bangle - the one we used to on our wrist in high school- so that she could device a way to hold up the womb in its place, by which not only infection could be prevented but also quicken the natural healing of the ulcer. Seeing my wife confused, the lady came out of her chamber and check every visitors' hand, laughing and apologizing, to find a sample and she succeeded. She took my mother in-law in and used the ring.

Florence Nightingale

In Bhutan we are never used to so much attention and care, unless we are related or connected or special. And the Burmese changed my mindset all together; we don't have to be special to be cared for. She knows we come there to seek her help and she helps with whole her heart. I always thought Florence Nightingale was fairy tale character but she made me believe that it's possible to have such people. She herself is a living Florence Nightingale, a golden gift from Burma.
She is the second woman I know from Burma, first one being Aung San Suu Kyi, whom I honour so much for doing their job so well. Thank you so much for coming to Bhutan.

Aung San Suu Kyi, only lady I knew from Burma until I met Ms. Swe Swe

Update 8th August 2012: The kind lady from Burma is Ms. Swe Swe. Her contract with Bhutan will end this year. I only wish if our health ministry could request her to stay for some more year. She is an extraordinarily dedicated expert who has attained greatness beyond rudeness and frustration at work. Please Stay.