Dorji-puen: Spiritual Brothers and Sisters

Both my mother and mother in-law were among thousand other in Haa last month receiving Thrul from his holiness the Je Khenpo. And this time I had the opportunity to understand the purpose of closely. There were many things I took for granted and therefore I missed the biggest responsibility as the eldest son.
Thrul is the spiritual preparation for death, it's the turning point in ones life; the point in life where we realize and accept death as the gateway to next life and therefore receive the teachings that are believed to be the light through the gateway.

My Mother (green tego)and her Dorji-Puen

Two interesting events during the Thrul are Getting the spiritual name and then meeting the spiritual family.
Our names are believed to be associated only with our body, and therefore we must leave it behind as well. We receive choeming, meaning the spiritual name, the name with which we will be known after death.
Then the spiritual family- the crowd of thousands will form groups of seven with the blessing from the je Khenpo and they become Dorji-puen. Seven strangers unite in the presence of his holiness to be spiritual brothers and sisters across lives, yes across lives. Dorji-puen means your brothers and sisters for next life.

My Mother In-Law (in Blue tego) and her Dorji-Puen

And if you love your parents so much you must make it your first priority to let them receive this blessing when they are still strong and breathing. You may not believe in all this but what is more important is what they believe in. This is one priceless gift. But I failed. I was out on vacation when my mother met her spiritual brothers and sisters. I and all my siblings were expected to be with her during the ceremony, and we should be meeting her newfound family over tea or lunch. I am only hoping I will make it up to her someday. But you need not wait for another day, know that you have to be there during the last two days of the Thrul with tea, which I didn't know. My brother in-law, though youngest in the family, made all the difference by being there and fulfilling his duty as son. Thank you.

Shanghai to Paro Taktshang

Three friends from Shanghai were on holiday in Bhutan last week. A man and two ladies were walking their way to Paro Taktshang when we met last Sunday. There were people from across the world that day, but these three came into focus because of what happened to them then. My family and these three friends made it to the place, where the uphill climb ends, almost at the same time, of course we rode horses. We took a long rest there, the spot where Je Gaden Rinchen was born.
The three Chinese seemed to be in hurry, with their guide panting after them. Just then the man slipped and fell, almost falling down the hill. He lay flat on the muletrack crying in pain- his left ankle was twisted. His two lady friends were shocked and screaming. Their guide was loaded with their cameras to do anything. Another ten minutes walk would have taken them to Paro Taktshang.
They immediately attracted lots of attention but they needed help more than mere attention. That's when I ran to them with my sister in-law, who was once a doctor in China and therefore carries whole set of first aid in her handbag. She assessed the injury and massaged it with balm. The huge man was still crying in pain but my sister in-law had pain killer with her. She even gave him a few more tablets for the evening. The man was shivering and his faced looked scary. We wrapped him in our kabney and I used my teacherly skill to calm him, " It's a very lucky sign that you fell right here where a great saint was born- Je Gaden Rinchen. We consider it very lucky." The magic worked on the two ladies. They were nodding and even smiling. My brothers carried the man to a comfortable spot and ask him to rest while we sort out what to do next. It was confirmed that the man cannot walk anymore, and his journey from Shanghai to Paro Taktshang ends here.
I asked the guide to call his office for backup, but I was only talking to the office himself. Like many tour operators his was one man army- he is the guide, the agent, the office and the final backup. He was funnily blaming the man for not walking carefully, instead of worrying. I didn't want our guest to feel helpless, so I told him to wait for my family to return so that we could carry him down.
The two ladies were biting their nails, seemingly not wanting to go back without completing their journey but their guide was even more perplexed. Then I decided to guide the two ladies with my family so that the guide could stay back with the injured. They happily agreed, even the injured.
It was my fourth visit to Taktshang and I can comfortably be a good guide but I had with me seven members of my family who were there for the first time. It took me over an hour to explain everything to the nine of them with special attention to my sister in-law and the two ladies, knowing that they can never make it back for second time. Because I agreed to be their guide I couldn't help see them struggle with their heavy cameras- so I carried them as well. As if nine of them weren't enough a group from Bangkok asked me to explain to them a lot of things.
I then met two senior guides to who I explained about the injured man and the indecisive guide, and requested them for help. By the time we walked out of the monastery I got a call from the guide saying he got assistance from the senior guides and that they were carrying him down. I told him not to worry about his guests who were with me.
In one of the Goenkhangs I was explaining about the prophecies of Guru Rinpochee, and knowing my two guests were Chinese I asked if they were a big fan of Chairman Mao Zedong. They excitedly replied yes. I sorrily told them that "about 1300 years ago Guru Rinpochee prophecised that a man call Mao will come one day and become the greatest threat to Buddhism". Two ladies looked at me in disbelief, "1300 years ago?" "Did all his prophecies come true?" By the time they walked out, they told me I have changed their mind.
I had to carry my daughter and walk slowly with my wife and sister in-law, so I let my brothers deliver the two ladies to the base where the guide and the injured where waiting in the car. By the time we reached the base they were gone. The guide didn't call me after that. But I am happy that the Chinese will remember fondly about Bhutan and Bhutanese despite the unfortunate journey.

My Team-Eight of them including my daughter

I Question the Medical Judgement

When my cousin brother was diagnosed with tuberculosis about twenty years ago, his parents didn't give a second thought and started the long treatment. About five months into the treatment they discovered that the little boy wasn't suffering from tuberculosis. His parents were only thankful that it wasn't TB. Five months of heavy dose didn't matter to them. As years went by the ill effect of heavy doses of wrong drugs showed on his physical features and his mental efficiency.
That was a long time ago and everything was forgiven and forgotten even though my brother is still paying the price each day for error in medical judgement some people made. Over the time everything changed and technology came into hospitals to reduce human errors. But machines are just tools and its the human at the end who has to pass the judgement.
Over the years I was shocked at the number of rumors I heard of people being wrongly diagnosed with TB, and some paying the price with their lives. Advancement of human resources and technology seemed to have made no difference to Bhutan. May be all the rumors I heard are wrong, therefore I may be wrong too if not for what happened early this month.

Photo from  fabulousnurses.com, edited by author   

My nine year old sister was diagnosed with TB from Jigme Dorji Wangchuk National Referral Hospital. She had some swelling below her chin after a long toothache and after series of checkup it was confirmed that it's lymph node tuberculosis called Scrofula. My mother was asking me if they could begin her treatment. I am not a doctor, I am but a loving brother, I don't want to risk my sister. I rushed to Thimphu and found out that all the test reports were negative including the biopsy, which I found from Google as a crucial test. Wikipedia tells me that she should have symptoms such as " fever, chills, malaise and weight loss. As the lesion progresses, skin becomes adhered to the mass and may rupture, forming a sinus and an open wound." but she has none of these except the medical judgement of doctor. I trust the big hospital, I trust the big doctor, but on what basis should I trust this judgement?
I brought my little sister with me and took her to Wangdue Hospital, where I explained my fear and showed the reports to the renowned medical specialist. He checked her neck thoroughly, studied all the reports, took a fresh x-ray and declared that it's NOT tuberculosis. He prescribed her antibiotic for five days after which the swelling subsided.
Now I question the Judgement of that doctor who wanted to fill my sister's stomach with loads of drugs. I even fear that all the rumors I ever heard are true but they all landed nowhere because we Bhutanese are so forgiving. No doctor was ever taken to court for their mistake because we forgive, and because we forgive they take for granted.

Snake and Ladder in Bhutanese Public Service Delivery

Tshering Wangdi's report on "Revolutionizing Public Service Delivery" in Bhutan Times on 18th December brought me immense happiness after having gone through a long procedure of acquiring a trade license for my brother last week. My eleven page thick application form required signature from over ten individuals from different locations and needed over six legal stamps and numerous photocopying. If it weren't for my support and diligence my brother would have given up on the idea long ago and chose to remain a jobless youth rather. We are still waiting for the committee verification, and recommendation before going to Thimphu again.

G2C in Bhutan Times

Bhutan Times' report highlighted government's move to make services easily accessible by public through Government-2-Citizen (G2C) services. Once done it promises to make acquiring services simple and effective, inexpensive, time saving, and hassle-free, thus guaranteeing costumer satisfaction.

The picture illustration with the report didn't impress me much, because the current situation depicted alongside their vision didn't really tell the truth. The series of ladders in the picture shows that, though time consuming, there is progress in the way services are delivered today, which we all know is not true. Today if you are going to Thimphu for a work you must prepare yourself like your parents prepare for pilgrim to Bodgaya, for in there we are bound to be caught in Snake & Ladder game. I have invested good amount of my time in the following model, trying to depict the way public service is in our country today.

PaSsu's Model of Public Service in Bhutan

My Brother is a Promise

My twenty four year old giant brother has a child's heart in his chest. He has long outgrown my size but his mind defied the laws of nature, the world around him doesn't seem to bother him a bit. He sits down with an eleven year old and spend the whole day enjoying their fantasy. He is perfectly happy even after repeating thrice in the BHSEC.
But love took him on a joyride, only to wake him from his wonderful dream. When he shared about his girlfriend who was a qualified working lady, it got me worried. I warned him. And it got me more worried when I discovered she was a very good lady. My jobless and innocent brother has fallen in love with a working lady, and how in the world is he going to keep her happy? My thoughts were rustic, I know, but rustically true. I was being traditional, but there is no denying that we have hardly changed. I pushed him hard when he was doing his exam for the third time. I begged of him to feel the gravity of the real world. I assured him that he is a good promise. But result broke it.
World is far meaner than my brother learnt from his little friends, and I was worrying his share for him, because 'mean' is not something he has understood yet. Thus, a week has passed, gloomy and shocked- god and the lady knows what the reasons are but my poor brother could hardly justify why the good relationship is loosening.
My wife is worried and I am too, we seek justification more than him, but at the depth of my mind I know it's so well justified- he is a promise no more.
I look at my million dollar brother and see promises dancing all around him, so sorry that people fail to see through an unpolluted soul.

My Brother's Shoe

My brothers: Tenzin & Samtey

Both my little brothers outgrew my height. I feel secure walking with them. Can't believe I carried them on my back once, fought for them, and thrashed them often. I am happy they grew into gentlemen I could be proud of. But I never thought their feet will outgrow the shoes in market, especially Samten's.

He had to leave school for about a month when he was in class eight just because we couldn't get him a shoe of his size. Despite the help of all our relatives in Thimphu we couldn't get one there. Finally I had to go to Phuntsholing to try my luck. I got one, ugly and shapeless but big enough to room his feet. If it continued that way I thought my brother could never complete his studies, he still had many more years to grow. Luckily, Origin shoes arrived in gigantic sizes and we never had problems.

Smaller on is mine and I wear no.8, Guess his size?

But now, days of wearing Origin shoes are gone for him and no shoe stores in Wangdue, Punakha and Thimphu sell formal shoes bigger than number 8. I didn't realized it until I went looking for it in Thimphu. I went to every shop that sold shoes and they all tell me the same story.

Today is my lucky day, I got one for him finally... style, color, and quality do not matter as long as it fits him and it did. So this article is to celebrate the occasion along with my wife's Birthday. She is happy too that I got a shoe for him and she wants no gift more than this.