Habit of Writing Without Publishing

Writing is a pleasurable hobby. It's an easy job. A cup of tea. It gets difficult only when we plan to publish it. Suddenly. Then we spend hours watching the cursor blinking (like I'm doing right now). Writing a line. Deleting it. Editing even before anything is written at all. I ambush my own thoughts and words before they come out. I stop myself from writing. 

My Old Journal Notebooks

The following anecdotal story from Atomic Habit opened my eyes;

The Danger of Aiming for Perfection

On the first day of class, Jerry Uelsmann, a professor at the University of Florida, divided his film photography students into two groups.

Everyone on the left side of the classroom, he explained, would be in the “quantity” group. They would be graded solely on the amount of work they produced. On the final day of class, he would tally the number of photos submitted by each student. One hundred photos would rate an A, ninety photos a B, eighty photos a C, and so on.

Meanwhile, everyone on the right side of the room would be in the “quality” group. They would be graded only on the excellence of their work. They would only need to produce one photo during the semester, but to get an A, it had to be a nearly perfect image.

At the end of the term, he was surprised to find that all the best photos were produced by the quantity group. During the semester, these students were busy taking photos, experimenting with composition and lighting, testing out various methods in the darkroom, and learning from their mistakes. In the process of creating hundreds of photos, they honed their skills. Meanwhile, the quality group sat around speculating about perfection. In the end, they had little to show for their efforts other than unverified theories and one mediocre photo.

This story revealed to me where I got messed. I was expecting too much from every piece I was attempting to write. I was not allowing myself to enjoy the process of writing because I was too focused on publishing it. I needed to start writing for the love of writing without the nagging pressure of publishing on my blog or anywhere on social media. I needed to do some private writings, ones that are not to be made public in any form. 

When I finally did that I found it extremely liberating. The spontaneity of my thoughts surprised me. The flow was smooth and beautiful. I rediscovered my ability to writing.  Like the 'quantity group' in the story, I began writing more. And the more I wrote the more I loved the process. I felt my confidence coming back to me. I could see myself getting better at writing. 

Besides improving my writing, I revived my habit of daily journaling. I had made a mistake of confusing journaling with writing articles for my blog. Now I know that I should never put the burden of publishing on private journal writing. 

By the way, daily Journaling helps you organize your thoughts and give you clarity. It can help you in self-reflection, goal setting and driving personal development. It's said to relieve stress, boost memory and unleashes creativity. I am taking it more seriously than I ever did. 

Nothing beats the experience of writing physically in a notebook with a smooth fountain pen, but if you want to make it exciting and revealing, try writing on 750Words.com. It's an online platform to write privately, exactly the kind I explained. 

What's exciting is the way you are tempted to come back every day to write your 750 words because you are awarded points, and you will get beautiful stats that analyze the feelings, themes, and mindset of your words. You discover a lot about yourself more from your writing. The platform makes you a disciplined writer, you need to be on time, and your speed is tracked, even your distractions. You can write more than 750 words, which is approximately three pages. Your daily quota is only counted if you have crossed the 750 words mark. You cannot be lazy.

The site was created by Buster Benson and his wife Kellianne. 

Stats on 750Words

The mindset of your words

Feelings

In helping find my way back to writing I want to thank three people; Dr Adrian Chan for inspiring me to write daily journals, Nawang Phuntsho for introducing me to 750words.com, and Bjob Ganchu for taking me to Audibles where I listen to Atomic Habits. 

My Battle with Academic Writing

Even I am surprised that despite not blogging for so long I didn't go into depression. But I have been constantly unhappy and experienced mood swings that weren't part of me before. The irony is, writing kept me away from writing. It occurred to me that all writings are not same. Some writings can actually make you feel completely jobless. They call it serious writing, but I found it extremely funny. Perhaps I am never designed to write anything so seriously funny.

I have been writing academic pieces for past many months, knowing fairly well that no one other than my tutors will ever read such craps, but at least they will read word by word. Those pieces are basically thousands of words put together to beat loudly about the bush that can be simply communicated in less than 200 words for better human consumption.

In every paragraph I have to prove that I am completely incapable of thinking on my own, therefore even if I have written something I have to cleverly find someone who has said that and say he said so. At the end if there is any indication that I have tried to think at all, then I have to revise and subdue the last whisper of my voice. I have to operate exactly like a search algorithm that puts together everything related to the keyword written by anybody born before me.

To push you at your wit's end, those thousands of words should be like soldiers marching, with an inch wide margin, font size 12, a running head that's caps and that's not caps, single space here, first line indent there, this title bold and that centred. Because people who are going to read our paper are specially challenged. That's just one formate among many. There seems to be many people and institutions that have all the time and intelligence to work on such nuisance.

In the age of Twitter triggering revolution with just 140 characters if we still think that someone will read our 10,000 words research papers, then there is something wrong in the research that said so. Only few research papers make it to some filthy rich journals and others just become references to future academic writings. Great ideas don't need 10,000 words to make sense, it will remain great even if written on a piece of toilet paper. And great ideas don't need a journal to approve them, it's age of Facebook and Blogs. After all, the greatest inventions were result of human action and creativity not sea of mere words and reproduction of ideas.

All the research writing classes, at best, made me so insecure about my own writings but I am coping to overcome and remember my blog in my conscious moments. I hope I will survive to write stories that matter, and I hope I will never torture my readers beyond 500 words.

I am trying to make sense though, to go with the crowd, and if there is someone who can not only convince me but also make me a good research writer then I will be most happy, because so many theories are not helping as of now for a man who hasn't seen much across the border and much above a general maths degree.

Bhutanese Blogger Conference

For something like Blogger Conference to happen in Bhutan we just need more passion than money. We must stand by each other. We have to read each other and honestly express our appreciation. We already have a good number of bloggers to make a team. But sadly most of us are isolated for reasons of our own. Thank you Rekha Monger for initiating this blogger tag, through which I hope we could bring together as many Bhutanese bloggers into a family like community. And perhaps one day we could have a Bhutanese Blogger Conference. 

I was tagged by Rekha, and I am expected to answer the four questions given below. 

Why did you start blogging in the first place? And what’s the story behind your blog title?

In 2006 there was hardly any platform for Bhutanese Writers and I created 'Write Bhutan' Blog but in few months I realized that it wouldn't work. Till 2008 I didn't know what to do with that failed blog. I kept making blogs after blogs with just one article in each. Then my journey on Anonymous sites began. After writing over 300 articles I realized I had nothing to call my own and then I went back to my blog and began "PaSsu Diary", where I can write openly and have ownership of my work. 

How long have you been blogging? Where are you based?

I was in final year when I created this blog but only after reaching here in Bajothang I began "PaSsu Diary" and this is the fifth year of blogging from Bajothang Wangdue.

How do you schedule your blog post? Daily or weekly? Or as and when inspiration strikes you?

My schedule is very random but I make sure there are at least eight articles on my blog by the end of the month. I consider one week too long a gap to be left between posts. I often write during the weekends, interestingly, I don't know if you have noticed, there are lesser readers on holidays.

Does your family and friends know about your blog?

My wife is my censor board and the most regular reader. There were times she would call me to take down something I posted a moment ago, and sometimes she would call me to say she liked something so much. My mother can't read and rest don't read.
It's strange but interestingly many of my close friends and colleagues don't know about my blog but blogging is a world of its own and I have lots of friends because of this blog.
Let me not tag anybody in particular so that any blogger reading this can tag themselves and take this forward. It may be childish but if you love blogging you will take it seriously. 

Literature Festival in Agra

I am attending the SAARC Festival for Literature organized by Foundation of SAARC Writers and Literature (FOSWAL) in Agra on a personal invitation. I am recommended and guided by Tshering C Dorji, the writer of 'Shadow Around the Lamp' and 'Living the Bhutanese Way'. His many years of experience at this festival across the south Asian nations has earned him great respect among the members and I am enjoying walking after him into the warm group of writers.
This is my first attendance at any literature festival and I didn't give a second thought in accepting it. Besides quenching my literary thirst of meeting writers from different nations I also wanted so much to meet the founder, Ajeet Cour, who has put together all her life in uniting and promoting young poets and writers of south Asian nations against many odds. The charismatic lady welcomed me in her arms and joked to the crowd about how we Bhutanese were scared of train. I will write about this in a later post.
The festival has brought together over 100 writers from the SAARC nations and we were just two from Bhutan. We have lots of writers in Bhutan and I am surprised that many of them had attended the earlier editions of this festival but they never returned though the doors were always open. Tshering C Dorji returned year after year with new members and has become a part of FOSWAL family.
The festival showcases hundreds of publications of SAARC Writers and works of Ajeetji herself and of her artist daughter Arpana Cour's.
Morning are for academic paper presentations and afternoon till late evening we get to listen to poetry from different nations and in various forms.
Four writers were awarded Young Poet Award for their works in poetry. And five new books were launched at the festival. Tshering C Dorji's Timeless Diary will be launched soon.
Today is our turn to recite our poems but I don't know when I last wrote one, I rather proposed to talk about blogging in Bhutan.
Tomorrow we are visiting Taj Mahal and traveling together in a couch back to Delhi from where we will fly back to our own countries.

Ajeet Cour, The Founding Lady of FOSWAL, and undying force behind it!

Young Poet Award Winners

Ajeet Cour taking Tshering C Dorji into her arms

Showcase of Publication by members

Literature Festival Venue- Grand Hotel, Agra

Comment that Touched my Heart

For a blogger like me happiness is defined by a few simple things like completing a blog post, receiving good numbers of readers, and most of all seeing some sane comments. But the following comment by Mr. KK Giri touched the bottom of my heart, not because I am as good as he thinks I am but because he has a sincere heart to let me know that I am worth talking about for hours;

"...I seldom write any comment on blog, though i follow some. But here would like to share an incident. I was travelling from Gelephu to Thimphu together with a newly acquainted gentleman. While gossiping on various topics both of us happened to be your blog follower. We talked about how interesting your articles are, how talented and gifted writer you are on our judgement if at all we are qualified to judge you, and blah blah..

We even discussed about your comment on Wangdue Dzong mishap when the ruin of the Dzong was on our sight from the highway. We laughed on that famous hand shake at South America shaking the Great wall of Wangdue Dzong. The Tibetans across the globe must have smiled too.

Our discussion on Passu's diary must have started from somewhere Kamichu and continued till we reached opposite to BHSS from where one of us commented "that is where our Passu lives.... But just before that both of us unanimously agreed that something is not right about the way the Bajo town has shaped up. At least looking from the highway on the other side of the river it looks so " i dunno what to say..." Since you were the main topic of our discussion we fantasize a situation that one fine day Passu would pay a beautiful tribute to the architect/planer of Bajo, a modern 21st century township of Bhutan. Both of us laughed on our fantasy."- 9/14/2012 

Thank you Giri, I will try to be even more interesting to talk about. I have written a few pieces on Bajothang town so far but for you will write one more that will tell you how this town was planned for just a few years, because it's already outdated.

Last Post of the Year 2011

This is my last post for the year 2011 and I am so happy that I wrote over 90 articles this year with many of them printed in national papers. At this time I could hear the last minute count down to the New year and here I am doing the thing I love the most -blogging. Fire works are cracking in the Phuntsholing sky and hundreds of people are screaming but I am celebrating the 202882 hits and 228 followers on my blog.

Singapore

79,446

Bhutan

31,455

United States

29,856

India

9,195

Australia

8,511

Germany

3,068

Russia

3,021

United Kingdom

2,355

Thailand

1,720

Ukraine

1,535

As the year ends I would like to thank all my readers for inspiring me and cheering me up in doing this thing that means the world to me. You have made me a serious thinker from a casual blogger, and given me so many reason to find joy in simple things. My host family and their friends are all gone for party but I am here with my family writing this because this is what I want to do each day of 2012 and not partying. We hold a strong belief that we will keep doing the same thing that we did on the new year day, and I sure don't want to be drunk and out partying every day, therefore I am here putting my babe to sleep.

In 2012 I am eager to see how the biggest lie of mankind will be exposed. I have never believed in the end of the world but many secretly do and each day of the year is going to be very painful for them, I just wish they could live their life each day at a time.

And finally My New Year Resolution (motivated by my friend Neil): All this years I drank Whisky with Coke and I became sick, I tried with soda and still felt bad, and tried with water, which still made me unwell. Now I promise I will never drink Coke, Soda and Water!
Seriously I am resolute that I will not change any good thing in me and will try to work on doing away with every bad energy that comes out of me.
As always I will never overstay in the school impressing my principal. I will reach home five minutes after the final bell and be with my wife and children. I will always take my family along with me on all my workshops. I will call my mother every two days and tell her something to make her smile. I will spend lesser time watching TV and browsing. I will read more books than webpages. I will only drink at home and on weekends. And I will write more than 100 articles on my blog in 2012.

See you next year:) with the sunrise tomorrow morning!

My visit to Lingkana Palace

In Bhutan you don't have to be special to visit the Royal Palace, meet your King, and converse with Him. His Majesty makes it his personal interest to invite different groups of people to his palace and talk heart to heart with them over tea, which often he prepares himself.

With Royal Couple in their Palace

On the eve of royal wedding I am proud to share about my visit to the palace and meeting His Majesty and Ashi Jetsun Pema. His Majesty wished to sit down with people from different media groups and thus there were people from newspapers, radio, TV, film industry, Media Foundation and me- well I was to represent the bloggers. Blogging is picking up in Bhutan and now it is claiming its space alongside the mainstream media in the country.
During the conversation His Majesty shared with us about how he wants his wedding to be- humble and truly Bhutanese. He wants no chairs, no plates, no cold drinks, no beer, no wines, no international cuisines. He beamed as he described the display of local delicacies from 20 dzongkhags and palangs of local beverages. From the way he described his wedding plan it sounded to me like a wedding of an ordinary Bhutanese, and it made me so proud to be a Bhutanese.
His Majesty talked to us on various subjects ranging from his choice of music to books he read, from ancient Indian kings to first recorded Bhutanese song, from Ashi and him fighting for TV remote and laptop (they only have one TV and one laptop) to discovery of Third King's storeroom in Tashichhoedzong. When he shared the letter third king wrote to his Majesty the fourth king, who was then studying in London, I couldn't hold my tears.
His majesty and Ashi talked to each of us by calling our names and asking about things we do. Ashi Jetsun showed interest in my blog and asked for the blog address. She said, " I should read your blog.", which sounded to me like " The Oscar for the best Best Blog goes to PaSsu!!"
Throughout the audience I couldn't help watching his majesty's expression of love to ashi through his words, his smile, his touch and playfulness. Nothing in the world seemed to me so perfect than the choice our king made, and nothing in the world felt so powerful than the love I saw between the royal couple. His Majesty fondly told us that ashi takes good care of him despite being ten years younger to him and I thought that's the best service a queen could render to her country.
Tonight I pray to all gods in heaven with all my heart to bless our king and queen all the happiness in the world. And May the divine Royal love reflect in lives of every Bhutanese couple for all the times to come.

P:S: My visit to Lingkana Palace was about a month ago, I am sharing it on the eve of Royal Wedding.

Thank you Dawa Knight

My blog began enjoying over 1000 page views per day since early last week even when I didn't add anything new. I just checked back and found that one post I wrote on September 11 last years was drawing in lots of American visitors. It was about how not to remember 9.11. Later yesterday I saw an unbelievable 3080 page views and it happened on September 11, 2011. I couldn't help announcing it on Blogyul, a Facebook page for Bhutanese bloggers. What happened next gave me even greater joy, a fellow blogger Dawa Knight gifted me a sketch of me and my daughter in appreciation for the massive hits.

Dawa Knight's Gift.

I would like to thank you Dawa for considering me worth for blackening your wonderful fingers. To the world it may mean nothing more than a sketch of an ordinary Bhutanese with his daughter but to me it mean the world. I would love to receive the original copy as you promised.

Screen shot from Blogyul

PaSsuDiary.Com

Dear Friends Across the world, I am happy to tell you all that I have registered my personal domain name passudiary.com today, and all thanks to Pema Gyamtsho of Bhutan Hosting, who did it as soon as I asked. You all will be automatically redirected to my new address. It may not be necessary as of now but I urge you to note the change since I may soon move here permanently- and I don't want to lose your attention. Thank you for reading my stories. I am very much alive!