On 6th February, when the grand announcement of
the birth of Gyalsey warmed the cold mountain air my mother called me to tell
me that I had forgotten to wish my little sister on her birthday yet again. It
wasn’t the first time I forgot her birthday and it always broke my heart. But
this time I promised her that I shall never forget her birthday anymore because
Fifth of February is never going to be just another date on the calendar. The Fifth of February is now an auspicious occasion for all times to come. I felt
so proud that my sister now shared birthday with His Royal Highness, the
Gyalsey.
The Fifth of February will go down in history as the day
the luckiest Crown Prince in the history of the country was born. Since the
beginning of monarchy in the Bhutan this day has never happened where the
crown prince was born in the presence of his King Grandfather. His Majesty and
Her Majesty have therefore given the best 60th birthday gift to the Great
Fourth and to their people. This makes us the luckiest people in the history to be living in this
glorious time and witnessing what’s nothing short of perfection.
We have already witnessed two of the greatest events in the
history; the crowning glory of His Majesty the King and the Royal Wedding,
both of which were extraordinarily significant because of the presence of His
Majesty the Fourth King. The happiness that the nation experienced in these
moments was crafted, piece by piece, over a long period of time by the king who
knew the source of perfect happiness.
Three Generations of Kings in the First official Photograph of HRH Gyalsey
Today, on the auspicious day of losar we were given the gift of the first glimpse of our Gyalsey through the official photograph. The picture was so absorbing that I kept looking at it for a long time. It showed our glorious past and the beautiful present looking at the promising future. The right hand of the Great Fourth wrapped affectionately around Gyaltsen's shoulder and the left across His Majesty's lap holding the newborn- Oh it's made in heaven! It's a picture that can make your forget everything and be happy. And in this overwhelming moment the only words that keep coming to my mind is Thank You.
My wife Kezang said she had a surprise gift for my birthday
last June. Now that was a surprise in itself. It got be nervous because she
wasn’t known for any kind of surprises, in fact she hated surprises.
I assumed she was going to do something romantic for once. If
she woke me up on my birthday and gave me a flower then I would be surprised
because that was the last thing she would do. She’s very romance shy woman, who
thinks what happens in movies and books should remain there.
Anyway, my birthday came and went uneventfully, as usual,
without any surprise whatsoever. I
didn’t show any obvious sign of disappointment but deep down I was upset that
she forgot her surprise gift. Few days passed and when she never mentioned about
it I had to bring it up.
Me: Where is your ‘surprise gift’?
Kezang: I already gave you, you didn’t notice?
Me: No, is it kind of invisible?
Kezang: Sort of, it was something visible that became
invisible.
Me: Come on, just say you forgot it.
Kezang: No, I gifted you your wife’s health!
Me: What do you mean?
Kezang: I quit smoking since your birthday!
Kezang has been smoking even before we met. In between she quit
once for three years, from the time she was expecting our daughter till she
stopped breastfeeding. But such was a smoker’s urge, only few days after she
stopped breastfeeding she just restarted smoking. In three years her urge
didn’t die. Those three years were the biggest sacrifice the mother in her had
done for her child.
I tried everything I could to make her quit but she just couldn’t.
I had blackmailed her, scared her, sweet-talked her, read articles, share
inspiring pictures, showed YouTube videos, and even bought substitutes like
nicotine chewing gums. She would agree to every word I said but she just
couldn’t give up.
I told her that we had to grow old together and see our children
grow. I even reminded her of how her skin rejuvenated and glowed when she
stopped smoking for three years. I always told her that she was committing a
gradual suicide and planning to leave us alone helplessly.
I couldn’t imagine a life without her and she was smoking
her life away slowly each day. Soon I began to feel that if it was so much part
of her I mustn’t take it away from her, though both of us knew we would have a
wonderful life without smoking. She was fighting her own losing battle against
it.
But just when I felt so hopeless my unromantic wife gifting
me the most romantic gift ever. She has made her choice before it’s late, when
the time is right, where there is still enough strength left in our age to
rebuild our health. It’s been four months since she quit and now she tells me
that her urge is gone completely.
It was indeed the biggest surprise gift ever and I wish this
happened to all the couples that are so much in love and have the longing to
grow old together.
It was winter of 2000 in Punakha that I first saw His Majesty in person, as a young crown prince. You can calculate how young he was then. I was participating in national level sports meet in Khuruthang, when then His Royal Highness visited us. In the school hall, I along with over hundred sportsmen from schools across the country listened to a story His Royal Highness shared.
His Majesty
The story was about a very skilled carpenter who spent all his life building houses for people except himself. One day the old carpenter was invited to build a house by a rich man, which was going to be the last project because he has grown very old. When he finally completed the house the rich man came to him and said, "You have spent your life building houses for other but you don't have a house for yourself, this last house you built is my gift for you."
The carpenter who should be very happy about receiving the gift, looked at the house he built and in deep repentance thought "If I knew this house was for myself I would have build it better in so many ways"
That day when I heard the story I thought the carpenter was stupid, I felt sorry for him, yet I rejoiced in the fact that he got a house and that he could improve the house as he wished because after all he was a carpenter.
I retold the story so many times to my siblings and friends over the years, and gradually I began to discover the deeper meaning. Soon I began to resent the carpenter. He was a gifted person who had never done his best. Only when he knew the house was his to take he thought of how differently he could have built.
I grew up with the story, and the story grew with me. His majesty's message seeped deep within me. When I look back I realised I was like the carpenter when I was studying, halfhearted in my endeavours and disregarding purposes in things. Later, the life I have build in school was finally gifted to myself at the end of school. I got lucky, but there are many friends who had to live the halfhearted lives they build for themselves, like the regretful carpenter.
Eight meaningful years have passed by since I began my career and when I look back I am proud that I have built all the houses like they were my own, and like the rich man's gift,
everything in coming back to me in the form of satisfaction, experience and happiness.
On His Majesty's 35th Birthday, along with my prayers I commit to put my heart in every little thing I do in enriching the lives of people around me and the society without fear or favour. I commit I will be responsible and won't tolerate irresponsibility. I promise I won't be corrupt and won't tolerate corruption. This is a humble gift to his majesty from an ordinary subject.
Birthday Celebration is one of human's best physiological inventions, you become a year older officially and it's a moment of sadness but see what happens. Then to make it even more wonderful Facebook came along. I was overwhelmed by the number of greetings I received. I would like to thank everybody who took time out write those words to me, even those very lazy ones who managed to type: "HBD".
I have never seen a Birthday cake with my name written on it ever, I am not saying it's necessary but as a child that would mean a world. Growing with rich cousins was heartbreaking especially on occasions like this when they have big parties and cake and no one remembers my birthday. Now I can afford a cake but the cake-loving excitement is gone with the age.
There is this warm saying, "Friends are family we choose for ourselves" that redefined my life in last many years. Dechen called me in the morning and sang the whole Birthday song. She has very bad voice but it was magical. Dawa Knight and Paday walked in with a surprise package each and it turned out that both came with cakes, they were pissed with each other but I am happy. Wa, two cakes for a man who haven't had one in a life time- quite an irony. It made me blush. Thank you endlessly.
Last year on this special holiday I wrote the following short note. I am sharing this again to stress on the fact that time has changed.
November 11 was the last of holidays before we wind up our school and sit for exam during our times as children. It used to be the holiday we would wait all year long. It was the time we finally become resolute about sitting down and getting serious about our exams. It was the national birthday we would celebrate with all our hearts.
Now comes February 21, which is the first of holidays in spring, before we turn the first page of our books in school. Perhaps early national birthday has a significance of its own, time has changed. The Changed time demands earlier realization, right in spring. The luxury of relaxing till November is gone with our times.
I am also happy to see that Bhutanese Film industry has brought their Annual award show to Punakha for the first time, and Bhutan Olympic (?) is organizing a marathon from Gasa to Punakha to celebrate His Majesty's Birthday. Not everything should happen in Thimphu, and the time has come.
HM's Birthday Banner
Happy Birthday your majesty, May almighty bless you with health and strength and protect you from all harm on your selfless journey of love and leadership.
My Daughter Ninzi is born in November, yes right at the end of November, which makes her one of the youngest four year old this year. November is a special month for Bhutanese because of November Eleven, birth month of a great king in our history. End of November is even more special because it's the beginning of long holiday and when my daughter entered this world at this time in 2009, by right I would have only five official days of paternity leave to dedicate to my newborn but because there was nothing important to do in the school her father got all the time in the world to spend with her. That was the good part of being born in November.
Now, the bad part of being born at the end of the year is that you get your age only at the end of the year, which makes your younger than everybody born in the same year. Being younger or older shouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the school admission policy. Admission in PP requires the child to be 6 years of age which means a child born in 2009 should be going to school in 2015, but my daughter will be eligible only in 2016.
I know one year night not make a difference, but if you have noticed, kids of this generation are unusually brilliant. My daughter, like many children of her age, is already ready for school. In fact if you give them the standard PP test they will easily pass it. Then what's the logic in holding them back till 6? What will my daughter do for the next three years at home?
Can something be done with school admission policy? Because things have changed so much over the years. Or should I, like many parents, do something with my daughter birth certificate? In my school, I have noticed that most of the students in class ten are between 14 to 16, which means they began school at 3 to 5. How did they do that?
My friend Ugyen Gyeltshen once confronted with a similar situation said, "I don't want to begin my child's education with a fake document", and I don't think I want to do that either.
My Daughter becomes four today, and the four years with her seemed like quick vacation. It had its own share of heartbreaks and tears but the joy she brought surpasses everything else.
November 11 was the last of holidays before we wind up our school and sit for exam during our times as children. It used to be the holiday we would wait all year long. It was the time we finally become resolute about sitting down and getting serious about our exams. It was the national birthday we would celebrate with all our hearts.
Now comes February 21, which is the first of holidays in spring, before we turn the first page of our books in school. Perhaps early national birthday has a significance of its own, time has changed. The Changed time demands earlier realization, right in spring. The luxury of relaxing till November is gone with our times.
Image from Wisdom Quarterly
On this joyous occasion I would like to offer my deepest prayer and humble wishes to his majesty on his 33rd birthday and say my thank you for the great 33 years in the history of Bhutan.
This day in 2009 was a Sunday and Kezang knew our child was going to come ahead of due date. We went to Sunday market in the morning, then to town to prepare for the new member in the family. She cooked for us and packed stuffs for the hospital and by 9 PM our child made a loud entry into this world. It was a daughter.
The excitement of becoming father didn't die in these three years, often I look at my little girl and exclaim, 'wow, I am a father', and that good feeling brings lot of energy. Becoming father was the beginning of becoming a better man, it was another chance in life to look at the world through an innocent eye. The next phase of me was born with my daughter and we grew together.
She is growing into a beautiful girl like her mother, and everybody is happy that she didn't resemble me but I have more than one ugly part; I was the naughtiest and wildest child ever born in my family. Therefore I am never angry with my daughter though she is turning into something Kezang can't believe. Kezang only heard about my childhood, now she is getting to see me through our child.
Miss Bhutan Pose!
Apart from being extremely naughty, my daughter is very smart with technology. She can amaze people with how she can play around with iPad since she was two. Now she is more on YouTube and surprising us with her new crying, screaming, talking and punching styles. She can already run us down from ABC to Z, and 123 till somewhere less than 20. She spends much of her time on either movies on computer or on YouTube. She is very fond of singing and recording her own performances on camera. One thing that makes her even more special is her ability to sing Zhundra. The only song my mother taught me was Naychoe Dongkala, which I sang to my daughter when putting her to sleep. Amazingly she caught not only the tune but also the entire lyrics of the classic song. She would sing that in karaoke and other public places because she knows that gains her lot of attention which she enjoys.
The down side of having a tech-loving daughter is having to spare half of the computer screen for her movie. She is never enough with 'The Gods Must be Crazy' series. I had to reschedule all my works just to make room for my daughter but she leaves me not a single hour of peace, thus I wait till midnight, which is when she finally sleeps, and wake early in the morning to buy myself some extra hours.
We sit on same computer(Ninzi's Half- PaSsu's Half)
She loves going to birthday parties, but she thinks she has the right to blow the candles on any birthday cakes. Part of being a father is fighting with other kids to get pink balloons for my daughter in all the birthday parties. But tonight she will have a cake of her own with candles she can blow and pink balloons she can have without her father having to fight for it.
Happy Birthday Darling, you are three now!
My birthday has never been a special day during my childhood, I never had a cake in my name, nobody would remember the date, and I would cry but things started getting brighter as I learned to expect less. Now my birthdays are special because I have mastered the theory of expecting nothing, and therefore if nothing happens then nothing happens, and whatever little things come my way becomes pleasant surprise.
Birthday Picture for the Record.
But life is strange, best happens when you least expect and I often wish if some of these happened to me when I was desperately wishing for them. Now I have a beautiful family who would remember my birthday for me and treat the day like a national holiday and I have friends all over who would send their best wishes as if they have waited whole year to do that. I don't know why they are so excited about letting me know that I am growing old lol.
This is my last year in twenties and I am getting a strange reluctance to agree, because this one year unlike other years will change the whole story about me- now I know why some items' cost has _99 as suffix, one Nu. makes a great difference when considered at critical point. However, with this birthday I have broken the record of my father who died at 28- I think I am going to live longer.
For all the wishes and kind words, early and belated, long and short- some as short as 'HBD', from near and far, thank you so much. Your words made me feel wanted and useful in this world, they gave me joy and pride, and they gave me good reasons to live longer and bigger. Thank you all so much.
This week is full of celebration and I hardly know how to deal with them, therefore just like nothing is happening around I spend my time watching whatever comes on TV and dose off eventually. I have strange weakness you see, I can't take too much of anything. But as the glare of celebration dims I wish to wake up;
I humbly wish my king a very happy birthday, and take this moment to thank him for his vision, concern, and sacrifices. The Bhutanese, the tenth news paper enters the market with a difference, with long term dreams and as a leader in good journalism. The mover and shaker Tenzin Lamzang already raised our expectations while his stay with Business Bhutan and with his own paper now we don't expect anything less. With each new paper we are seeing truer journalism.
Tshering Dorji, the boy I saw on YouTube received the blessing of trailblazer Mila Tobgay and today he showed the magic of his voice to the Bhutanese people. Wherever Mila Tobgay set his hands on that thing turns into gold. He is the extraordinary Bhutanese that makes me wonder. Congratulations Tshering Dorji for winning National Talent Hunt!
And Finally, Happy Losar to all my readers. Let the Dragon year bring you strength to live your life the way you want. May the Dragon year bring you opportunities to rise higher and live happier. May the newly married couples give birth to healthy dragon babies.
On 29th November 9:29PM my daughter became 2. They say the height of a two year old multiplied by two will give their adult height. So I measured her the very minute she became two and found she's 87 cm tall, which means she will be 174 cm tall by the time she becomes 20- She is going to be 2 cm taller than me.
The long fearful wait for her teeth is finally over. I didn't count but there are enough teeth in her mouth now. Sometimes I regret shaving her head, even after five months her hair is not back, forget having thicker hair. Only her girlish outfit identifies her as a girl, and on many other occasions I had to correct strangers that my babe is a girl.
On her birthday, it's time to reflect on her two years among us, it's strange to realize that someone from nowhere comes into our lives and suddenly takes ownership of everything we ever had and we gladly give in. There were times my wife and I sit and talk about "if's": if our babe could sit up, if our babe could walk on her own, if our babe could talk... but later we realized that everything happens when it's time and there is so much joy in appreciating what she could do at the moment than thinking of what she can't do yet! My cousin became mother recently and she wishes if her babe could run around and play like my daughter, but I told her to enjoy her babe when she is still there on her lap and smiling because that moment is never going to come back.
For Memory!
What I don't like about my daughter is her mad love for technology. It was our fault, we tried to amuse her with some interactive games on iPad and now we are having it! Her favorite game is Angry Bird and she doesn't understand that it's not our favorite game and that we have many other works to do- she lets us play with her for hours and if we deny at any point she turns into Angry Bird herself. I am thoroughly beaten by my daughter- her punches and slaps are something I don't want to mess with.
She knows Youtube is for videos and my broadband accounts exhausts within a week from her Angry Bird commercial movies- I didn't know Angry birds was so popular until she took me there. Now she is also contributing to its popularity of billion views!
Something My daughter loves!
Her second birthday was attended by my friends Ugyen and family, Juggu and Family, and Lop Tshering Gyeltshen over a small cake and dinner.
There were so many years I lived without even knowing my birthday, and then there was a period where nobody remembered my birthday except myself. I use to cry like a baby. I wasn't lucky to have a cake on my birthday, and wasn't lucky to have people who cared to come and gift me. I am from among people who die for the riches.
Now, it's all a different story, I have a birthday to celebrate, loving people to sit with, money to buy cake and go out. Thanks to Facebook, everybody remembers my birthday. I received over 300 messages on my wall and it made me feel really good. My sister, who used to wish me on wrong days, called me yesterday morning. BOBL has a nice automated SMSing system in place- it wished me yesterday.
It was the nicest birthday I ever had. If birthdays are so much fun, I don't mind growing old!
Today is your first birthday. I can’t believe a year has swiftly passed by amidst smiles and laughter. Last year this day your mother and I drove to Sunday market in the morning. She already knew you would be coming today so she did a quick shopping. She cooked lunch herself and asked me to drive her to the hospital. The doctor informed us that you were already on your way. We were asked to get admitted by 8PM and expect you by midnight but you were quicker. We ran back to hospital at 6 PM and waited for you in joyful agony. Your grandmother was with your mother and I was sent out to make bed in the ward for your mother and you. I paced in and out of the ward for two longest hours of my life and then at 9:09 PM I heard your first cry. Everybody in the ward looked at me and I felt like a celebrity; I simply said that’s my babe.
You continued crying but the door never opened. I was right outside the door waiting to look at you. A Nurse came out and closed the door behind her. She asked me to guess your gender. I told her it didn't matter. She insisted me to choose and I chose ‘a girl’ because your mother always wanted one. The nurse beamed at me and said, ‘Your wish is fulfilled’. The door opened and I was asked to come in. I couldn’t imagine how your mother would be but to my surprise she was smiling at me when I saw her. You were on a small bed suckling your thumb,one eye was wide open and the other was yet to open. You looked very funny and cute and I couldn’t help kissing you. That night three of us slept in the ward and your mother was shocked that I slept well while two of you remained awake.
Throughout this one year, it was always your mother who sacrificed her sleep while I enjoyed the luxury of not having a breast. However I always slept by your side and patted on your chest except for 15 unavoidable days I was out on duty. When I returned you didn’t forgive me for one whole night but next morning you crawled over me again and from that day on, I promised never to leave you.
As your birthday approached you showed us how strong you are; you started walking on your own and even your teeth are showing finally. But, by the day you are becoming naughtier, louder and faster; my face and your mother’s chest are full of scratches from your nails. In crowd, you embarrass us with your big farts, people think it’s us. Every day is fun with you among us and can’t believe I have lived without you until last year. Only today I truly understood the meaning of ‘many many happy returns of the day’. Happy birthday darling, may you grow into a wise respectable lady.
At 9:09 PM, 29th November 2009, My wife gives birth to my daughter in Bajothang BHU. She is 3 kg heavy with dark black hair, already opening her eyes and suckling her fingers. Thank you god, I am a father now!
In Picture: My daughter's first day among us, her first bath, conducted by her grandmother Gaki, my mother!
The aftershock of the Monday afternoon earthquake is still heavy in my heart; why are all four elements turning against us now? It began with the storm last year, then flood, now earthquake... something has gone terribly wrong somewhere and many of us know where!
Well forget that and look at this moment from a birthday party I attended on Thrul.
We are unfortunate no more, we can celebrate birthdays now. There were times we thought birthday celebration was a luxury. I didn't even know my birthday until I was in high school; I did some maths then and found it out approximately. I have been in many of our cousins' birthday parties envying the lavish expenses and the gifts, but my birthday was often forgotten. I was never wished nor gifted on my birthday, which made me cry on every birthday I let go in hostels.
Today is your birthday; probably you did some maths too. You used to tell me that your birthday falls on 15th August; anyway it doesn't matter when. It has to be a day in the year which reminds us that a year has passed by. You took sweets for your friends in school and as you give them, greetings will rain on you. That's when you will realize how important you are. In hostel, I would hardly have money but I made sure I save enough to purchase a packet of sweet just to get some friends to greet me, for no one would otherwise remember.
This is the first years in our lives we have been together for the whole year. Thus we are together on my birthday and yours too for the first time. This inspires me to write a few lines in my online diary hoping you would learn about it some day. There are many things about you that I share with my friends, which I want to write here knowing someday you would read like a piece of legend.
When you were born I was already eight and away from home. We were together only during the winters but to my surprise you could remember all the detail account from our childhood. You could remember many things from my childhood that I can't and that makes me feel that you have a better brain than mine.
You were a boy born with a stone in your hand. I wonder how you have done but so many neighbors came banging on our door because you have stoned their children. It is hard to keep track of you unless you cried. You roar when you cried drawing my attention and me. I have fought for you hundreds of times regardless of your faults.
But I still remember the day I fought a big guy who tossed me left and right, you were just about four and Samtey could be eight. When you knew I was losing you ran home crying with Samtey. By then I was crying too and still fighting with dozens of men watching in pleasure. I thought I was going to be killed if I don't run away, but my pride as a fighter held me back. Just then the two of you appeared, Samtey was with a kitchen knife and you were holding a spoon. The two of you were too tiny to scare him away but I felt so secure though I lost that fight.
Tenzin, people in our village hated you as much as they hated me. We have been naughty beyond limits and have been the don of playground in our own times, unlike Samtey who was good all along. During my reign of the playground I didn't cause damage to myself so much as you did to yourself during your rule. You fell from the veranda countless times, you fell from roof of the gate twice, and in both these incidents you bled so much causing lot of damage to your face. But the most damage was done when you jumped from one wall to another of a ruined house. You missed your step and hit your mouth on the other wall breaking four teeth along with the gum. We found two of your broken teeth from inside of your swollen lips. You looked very ugly and cute then. Your lips never regained it actual shape nor your tiny teeth. The four teeth in front were replaced by two big ugly teeth. That was no the end, I know you remember why your ring finger has that odd form; you have sliced it into two. After stitching the shape looked funny, I thought it would come back to normal with time but where? It really looks like a phallus.
Thank god you grew up so fast, a few more years and you would have distorted whole your physical form.
One thing that made me a better Acho is a story from our childhood too. You and Samten are home and I was away in hostel. When I return home on vacations two of you would always have something to give me, a new shirt or a sock or a pen that someone had given you. When I ask why you did not use them yourselves, you would say it doesn't matter to you in village and that I should have it since I go amidst new people in new places. I know how seldom we get to own new things in our childhood but two of you were always happy wearing the rags as long as I am well dressed. I still wonder how big a heart god has put into your tiny chests.
Now you are growing pimples and must be worried about it. It will disappear over time, don’t worry. But over time you have changed too; the hyperactive Tenzin is lost into a silent loner. I am worried you are missing the brighter side of boyhood. The intelligent Tenzin is lost into a careless and dull boy who gives excuses for failing in multiple subjects. I remember how you would solve mathematical problems from you finger tips and the smelly toes shown from you torn socks. Change is good but you have choices, be objective about the road you choose.
You quite well know me, I haven’t been the best of students either but I have always known my responsibility as brother and as a son. Though a young boy, I have seen appreciation in your eyes when I walked home with a TV set bought from my little apprentice salary, I have heard how you praised me to your friends when I brought how new sets of plates and mugs from my temporary job wages. Those were the times I struggled along with thousands in the job market; in such times people lose their nerve and do drugs and drink and try to be happy. But I always remembered you all at home and kept myself intact.
When people of my age were wasting their youth in drugs I was working in a construction of a bridge as a labor, and when they were still wasting their life I was choosing new clothes for you. Life paid me well for my dedication and now I am a teacher with a respectable life.
Now you are about that age and today on your birthday I am writing you this note just to let you know that you will never have to work for a construction site nor you should worry about buying any thing for home because I have made it all set. All you have to do now is to know that your life is a gift and prepare yourself enough to be capable of cherishing it. Make us proud by being the best that you are capable of. I will be the happiest man when I see you lead a comfortable life.
