Yesterday was the descending day of Lord Buddha, as holy as it could be. I went on an outing with my family to Punakha. We visited Punakha Dzong, actually we reached at the gate, only my brother Sonam went in with Jigme since he didn’t visit it earlier. Then we went up to Zomlingthang, a beautiful place to sit for lunch. It was fun pulling out my car from quicksand. Everybody made a joke of me, “your car is not a desert car!” My wife got angry. It took us about an hour and a tea break to get the car out of the sand I drove in.
From there we drove to Kuruthang Zangtopelri, it is another place I have already visited so I let in the three kids for their exam’s sake. Then we lunched at a popular restaurant. We chose to take the rough road back home, along the river. There was a little beach where we played in the evening sun.
Doesn’t the day sound exciting? Well it was a wonderful day. However, the evening spoiled the day. I discovered what my brother Tenzin had done with his exam and result. He didn't show me any paper he got, only upon asking he would vaguely tell me the marks he got. I didn't mind that, not his mark even.
The result sheet where I was supposed to sign was also hidden. Even if he showed me his terrible marks what would I do? I would look at them, shake my head, give some words and take some words, and that’s it. Why did he have to hide it at all?
Now when I asked him to show me his result sheet, he thought I was joking. There were hundreds other things we joke about at home but he should realize that his education would be the last thing I would joke about. I made him realize that it’s a serious business but he lied to me and said he lost his result. I showed him my nine year old result and asked him how he could lose three day old result. But that didn't make sense to him. He then changed his story; he now said he tore the result. I got furious and wiped him until he cried and until he showed me his result from underneath the cupboard. He had failed in four subjects and just managed to pass in the rest. I didn’t mind him failing; I didn’t say anything when he failed alike in mid-term. When he cried it almost broke my heart but if I give in to my emotions now I can never make him appreciate how important and serious education is for his life.
After dinner he went to bed early, but I couldn’t sleep for a long time. It was a wonderful day we had, why suddenly did this have to happen. His loud cry kept echoing in my ears. I wanted to go at his bedside and tell him that I am sorry and that I love him, but I couldn’t. Perhaps he already knows how much I love him. I only want him to lead a life he would love to live and for that I may have to break my own heart once too often.
If you have visited the link to my facebook album then you already know which one among the three is Tenzin...
ReplyDeleteHe is on the right in black gho, he is the youngest of three boy siblings...
So there goes your merit!
ReplyDeleteOver the years that I have raised my nieces and nephew, I have come to understand so much about the psychology of the children. If you give them the strength to be honest, they are honest. Teach them to face failures and learn from them, ask them to admit the mistakes they make, show them the better way to deal with such matters and I tell you, they do learn a lot.
Mmm, I think Tenzin learnt a lesson the harder way. But PaSsu, love him like you will anyways. Don't hold back, go and say sorry to him. You owe him one anyways.
I understand what it is like to love your brother and having to care him through hard ways. But he will surely come to see what you mean by being hard on him sometime. I will be writing an article on something similar to this soon. Have thought of it for more than a week now and haven't been able to start.
ReplyDelete